IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

These days people in some countries living in a "throw-away" society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away .what do you think are the causes and what problems are caused by this trend ?

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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, It
has
Verb problem
is
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 been undeniable fact that people of various nations living in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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, Where they often ends up throwing the items which they only used for
couple
Change the article
a couple
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 of times. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, We will discuss the reasons and what difficulties nature has to face with
this
Linking Words
 trend. To commence with, The main cause why citizens get rid of stuff after some usage is unexpected market trends. To elaborate, In
current
Correct article usage
the current
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environment
Add a comma
environment,
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 netizens want to live in
updated
Add an article
an updated
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 atmosphere in every field,
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 you talk about clothes or technology they want the newest brands
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, after the launch of
tesla
Capitalize word
Tesla
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 cars 70% of other car companies face
recession
Correct article usage
a recession
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, which
results
Wrong verb form
resulted
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 in less demand for vehicles
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other brands.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will help the reader understand the structure of your argument from the outset.
task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed explanation of the problems caused by a 'throw-away' society. This will give your essay more depth and support your thesis more robustly.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with sentence structure, especially with punctuation. For example, avoid unnecessary capital letters (like 'Where') and ensure that clauses are properly connected to improve readability and flow.
coherence and cohesion
Using linking phrases (such as 'for example', 'in addition', 'however') consistently throughout your essay will enhance the flow and coherence between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The topic is relevant and important, and you have a clear intention to address both the causes and effects of the issue, which is crucial for achieving a higher score.
task achievement
You provide a specific example related to market trends, which shows an attempt to support your points with evidence. This is a positive aspect of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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