IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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People in
this
Linking Words
 generation prefer to live independently or with their friends than living with their families.
This
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 phenomenon apparently
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to some bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss my opinion about
this
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 topic. In the previous
generation
Add a comma
generation,
show examples
 most families were living together in the same house.
However
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,
this
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 has
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 recent years.
According to
Linking Words
 the study
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Family Assistance Group the percentage of teenagers nowadays
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
like to live on their own has
increase
Change the verb form
increased
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 significantly,and
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
is cause
Change the verb form
is caused
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 by many reasons.
Firstly
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, teenagers
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to have their own space because if they live with their parents they can't do what they love like
for example
Linking Words
 hanging out with their friends.
Secondly
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, if they live at home parents impose rules that need to be followed and that they hate the most.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are still people
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
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 to live with their families because some feel that living with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
love
Replace the word
loved
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one's
Correct your spelling
ones
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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them happy and productive in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.They say that their family is
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 reason to motivate them in life. In my
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I do believe that living without your
love
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loved
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one's
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ones
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 has
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 impact both
emotional
Change the word
emotionally
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 and
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 whole being of a person and
this
Linking Words
 can lead to a community of
selfish
Replace the word
selfishness
show examples
 and less empathy
to
Change preposition
for
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 others because family is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fundamental
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and if that wasn't established well by both parents children will likely
suffered
Change the verb form
suffer
show examples
 from
emotional
Add an article
an emotional
show examples
 state.

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language
Try to improve your grammar and syntax in order to avoid small inaccuracies. For example, "this phenomenon apparently lead to some bad effect" should be "this phenomenon apparently leads to some negative effects."
content
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you mention that living alone leads to a lack of empathy; providing evidence or examples could make your argument more persuasive.
coherence
Make sure to clearly outline your main points and ideas in each paragraph to enhance the flow of your essay. A clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph could help.
task achievement
Consider addressing counterarguments in a more structured way to improve the depth of your discussion. For example, when discussing living with family, you could include potential disadvantages and balance them with the benefits you mentioned.
positivity
You have a clear stance on the topic and express your opinion, which is great!
positivity
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining what the essay will cover.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Erosion
  • Communal cohesion
  • Geographical dispersion
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Real estate dynamics
  • Psychological well-being
  • Technological facilitation
  • Independence
  • Traditional vs modern lifestyles
  • Intergenerational relationships
  • Virtual communities
What to do next:
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