IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of adult
visitors
Use synonyms
 fluctuated
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the period,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure was constantly the highest position. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 aged under 15 witnessed a moderate downward
while
Linking Words
 the figure for special exhibition
visitors
Use synonyms
 saw a minimal upward On the one hand, from 1997 to 2002, adult
visitors
Use synonyms
 and
visitors
Use synonyms
 aged under 15 had slightly changed,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, special exhibition
visitors
Use synonyms
 seemed to be stable at around 25000 people. In 2002, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people visiting museums tended to be much higher than
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 1997, about 30000. It can clearly be seen that teenagers
on age
Change preposition
aged
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
under 15
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the biggest changes in 5 years, with around 100000 individuals
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the chart showed an unsteady trend between 2007 and 2012. Adult
visitors
Use synonyms
 decreased from 400000 to 380000 before a strong increase of 100000 since 2002, a difference of about 200000
visitors
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, teenage
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
museums
Change preposition
to museums
show examples
 decreased slightly from 70000 to 60000,
however
Linking Words
, in the same year, special exhibition
visitors
Use synonyms
 continuously increased
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a significant
number
Use synonyms
,
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 about 10000 compared to the one in 2007.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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