IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Q; Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuels for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Environmental problems are increasing day by day. Raising the
prices
Use synonyms
 of gas for automobiles is considered a very good option by a group of individuals to curb the issue of environmental problems. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because of increasing inflation and its impact on the common household. To commence with,
firstly
Linking Words
, inflation. As we all know, the
prices
Use synonyms
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
 and other common things like groceries are already increasing. In the present scenario of rising
prices
Use synonyms
, if the government increases the
price
Use synonyms
 of petrol or diesel it will affect the common people negatively. A normal middle-class man finds it difficult to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the necessities of his family. If the charges hike up for
fuel
Use synonyms
, it will prove bad for them.
For example
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 few years in India
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gas
prices
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
have increased
show examples
 by 10%. In the year 2020 the
price
Use synonyms
 of diesel was 65 rupees per
liter
Change the spelling
litre
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, today it is 75 rupees per
liter
Change the spelling
litre
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the increase in the
price
Use synonyms
 of energy places an extra burden on the pockets of low-income individuals, especially those living in
sub-urban
Correct your spelling
suburban
show examples
 or rural areas where public transportation is not accessible. People must use their own private vehicles
for going
Change preposition
to go
show examples
 to work and earn their livelihood.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of villages in India bus service is not available.
As a result
Linking Words
, it becomes necessary for the villagers to use their own resources for commuting to work, schools, healthcare, etcetera. Adding up the cost of
fuel
Use synonyms
 will only affect the poor households.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would say that increasing the
fuel
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 is not an appropriate method to solve environmental problems. It places an undue burden on ordinary people without promising the actual results.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure your points are fully developed and clearly linked to the thesis to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider more varied sentence structures and linking phrases for smoother transitions between points.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more data and examples to support your claims and increase the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay has a clear position and expresses a strong disagreement with the proposed solution to environmental problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction outlines the issue clearly, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples from India illustrate the real-life implications of fuel price increases well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental problems
  • Fossil fuels
  • Alternative energy sources
  • Renewable energy
  • Public transportation
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Incentivize
  • Economic impact
  • Equity concerns
  • Sustainable infrastructure
  • Carpool
  • Commuting
  • Government revenue
  • Pollutants
  • Long-term benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: