Some people believe that professional workers such as Doctors and Teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent Do you Agree or Disagree?

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Some

people

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argue that

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apply

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senior workers

such

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

should take more salary than athletes and entertainment professionals. To some extent, I agree with

this

Linking Words

view, but there are other aspects to take into account. One key reason for prioritizing

doctors

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and

teachers

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is that

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their contributions are essential to the foundation and future of society.

That is

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to say, dedicated

doctors

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can treat thousands of patients, improving

life

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expectancy and quality of

life

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while

Linking Words

educators shape future generations through learning critical thinking or

help

Wrong verb form

helping

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them to find better

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

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path

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paths

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in the future.

As a result

Linking Words

, their dedication builds more stronger community which is healthier and educated. if it were not be

doctors

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

would not be beautiful with many healthy and clever nations.

However

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, another idea against

this

Linking Words

is that not all

people

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are to become

doctors

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In other words

Linking Words

, athletes and social personalities should be paid equally as

doctors

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and

teachers

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. Because

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apply

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their job

also

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helps individuals escape from daily

depressions

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depression

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and services as rehabilitation for

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

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For example

Linking Words

, when

people

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go to watch

important

Add an article

an important

the important

show examples

football match, they can easily forget their daily issues which helps to mitigate stress.

Consequently

Linking Words

, more and more individuals are influenced by athletes and

Correct article usage

apply

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entertainment figures which

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

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to dream. Without

such

Linking Words

professional

life

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could be more fade and repetitive. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

Use synonyms

doctors

Change noun form

doctors'

doctor's

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and

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teachers

Change noun form

teachers'

teacher's

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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so demanding

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

when

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it comes to emergency situations or countless

time

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times

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of dedication,

the

Change the word

their

show examples

social personalities help

people

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to unwind.

uluga2002Tue Apr 22 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction presents the issue but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement. Try to explicitly state your main argument more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to use appropriate transition words to connect your ideas smoothly. This will improve the flow of your writing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure grammatical accuracy. For example, 'if it were not be doctors' should be corrected to 'if there were no doctors'.

Task Achievement

You effectively highlight the significance of doctors and teachers in society, which provides a strong argument for your perspective.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Professional workers
Societal contribution
Scarcity
Market forces
Consumer demand
Role models
Economic impact
Revenue generation
Fair compensation
Social equity
Intrinsic rewards
Job satisfaction
Media rights
Merchandise sales
Public figures

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