IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students in university education should develop specialists in one subject area rather than create a broader range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is argued by some people that, university educators should pay attention
in
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to
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 a specific area in order to improve
ability
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the ability
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 of
students
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,
however
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, others say that
students
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 need to take lessons in different subjects. To some extent,
i
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I
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 agree with
this
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 view, but there are other aspects to take into account. One key reason for prioritizing the specific area is that
,
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apply
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pupil
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pupils
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 might be more professional and skilled.
That is
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 to say, it helps them to find well-paid
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job
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jobs
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 and secure career
grow
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growth
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.
For example
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, it is scientifically proven that,
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the person
a person
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person
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people
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 who
spend
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spends
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 more than 5000 hours a
yearin
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year in
 one area they
defenetily
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definitely
 become
professional
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professionals
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.
As a result
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, when they will find their dream
job
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 it
would
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will
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 take less effort to adapt
in
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to
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 their
job
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 and overcome
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job related
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job-related
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 issues,
such
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 as lack of
confidance
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confidence
 and experience. Given that, many education systems have scheduled education
programms
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programmes
programs
 which build well-skilled employees in the future.
However
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, another argument against is that
,
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apply
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 many universities choose flexible topics for their
students
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.
In other words
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, some education systems want to occupy diverse
theme
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themes
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 in order to get
high
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a high
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 reputation in different aspects and somehow it creates more
opportunity
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opportunities
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 for
students
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' next life. In
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addition
addtion
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addtion,
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due to
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high
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the high
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 demand
of
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for
show examples
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job
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the job
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market
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market,
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 they can choose
suitable
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a suitable
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work place
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workplace
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 and allows them to change their
job
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 frequently in order to be more adaptable. In conclusion,
although
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, it is better to
focud
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focus
 on one subject during
the
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apply
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make
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makes
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students
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 more skilled,
while
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flexible
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a flexible
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 environment leads to
confidance
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confidence
 and helps pupils get their dream
job
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. It's important to clarify the extent to which you agree or disagree right from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain consistent verb tenses and avoid minor grammatical errors. For example, 'it is argued by some people' can be simplified to 'some people argue that'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points to improve clarity and support your arguments effectively. For instance, explaining how flexible subjects can lead to higher adaptability in job markets would strengthen your essay.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, which helps round off the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expertise
  • Authorities
  • Specialization
  • Niches
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Innovation
  • Adaptability
  • Generalists
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving
  • Career shifts
  • Academic isolation
  • Employability
  • Collaborative skills
  • Networking
  • Educational systems
  • Rapidly changing job market
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