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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the number of native speakers of different languages in canada 1996, 2006 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the number of native speakers of different languages in canada 1996, 2006 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Pie charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the three
languages
Use synonyms
English
Use synonyms
 , French and other non-official
languages
Use synonyms
 spoken in Canada from 1996 to 2016. The report shows the decline and incline of the number of
speakers
Use synonyms
 in those
languages
Use synonyms
 . In 1996 majority of the
people
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 seen to be using
English
Use synonyms
 as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 form of communication .
Whereas
Linking Words
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 minor group of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
17
Change preposition
up 17
show examples
% of
people
Use synonyms
 residing in Canada are seen to be using other non-official
languages
Use synonyms
 .
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2006 and 2016 ,
English
Use synonyms
speakers
Use synonyms
are ruling
Wrong verb form
ruled
show examples
 over the other
languages
Use synonyms
 covering more than half of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 population .
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
English
Use synonyms
speakers
Use synonyms
 are
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
in all the given years , they are gradually declining in terms of percentages in 20 years .
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 using
English
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 by 3% in two decades .
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, the French talkers are
also
Linking Words
 mitigating by 1% in every decade. The only
speakers
Use synonyms
 that are increasing are the other official
languages
Use synonyms
 by 3%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first decade and 2%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 another decade. In conclusion , the pie chart shows how different
languages
Use synonyms
 are
slowy
Correct your spelling
slowly
 dominating the other two
languages
Use synonyms
 French and
English
Use synonyms
 in Canada .

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, english, speakers, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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