IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliance and amount of time spent doing houswork in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featurs and make comparison where relevant

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliance and amount of time spent doing houswork in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featurs and make comparison where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
first
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
 graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the differences in ownership
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 electric devices and how
many times
Fix the agreement mistake
much time
show examples
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
 doing housework in
familes
Correct your spelling
families
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Country from 1990 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
first
Use synonyms
 graphic
line
Use synonyms
 which
is mentions
Change the verb form
mentions
show examples
 the proportions of households with electric appliances
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2010 . It's very clear how the Refrigerator
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased to the peak rapidly from 1920 to 2010.
While
Linking Words
 the washing
machine
Use synonyms
 was increased to
hieghst
Correct your spelling
highest
heights
height
 proportion gradually .On the
second
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand , the second
line
Use synonyms
 chart shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per week.
Hours
Use synonyms
 per week decreased
considerable
Change the adjective
considerably
show examples
. Specifically, the
first
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
 graphic has three
Use synonyms
line
Change to a plural noun
lines
show examples
 the
first
Use synonyms
 is washing
machine
Use synonyms
 which was
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at 40 and the
number
Use synonyms
 was not steady but
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest
number
Use synonyms
 in 2019. The second
machine
Use synonyms
 is
refrigerator
Correct article usage
the refrigerator
show examples
 was not used in 1920 and began to grow
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
significant
significance
signifcant
Correct your spelling
significantly
 in 1940 the
number
Use synonyms
 received to the middle and continued to
grew
Change the verb
grow
show examples
 until
received to
Verb problem
it reached
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1980 to 2019 The
last
Linking Words
machine
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
vacuum
Correct article usage
the vacuum
show examples
 cleaner in 1920 the percentage was 40 and continued to rise until the peak in 2000 to 2019
As well as
Linking Words
 , the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of families housework in 1920 , the
hours
Use synonyms
 50 and rose to the bottom until received to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per a week.
To conclude
Linking Words
 the most
usage
Replace the word
used
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
 was
refigatoer
Correct article usage
the refigatoer
show examples
then
Linking Words
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
 and
lastly
Linking Words
 cleaner vacuum
While
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
hours
Change to a genitive case
hour's
hours'
show examples
 usage the highest was in 1992
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to the bottom

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words first, line, machine, number, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliance
  • household
  • refrigerator
  • vacuum cleaner
  • washing machine
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • time spent
  • household chores
  • daily routines
  • technological advancement
  • affordable
  • efficient
  • lifestyle
  • gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • impact
  • availability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: