IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, competition in the workplace has driven
people
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 to strive for excellence, so that they can compete in
this
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 bustling community. Taking challenges often
required
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requires
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by
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apply
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individual
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an individual
the individual
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 to step up in their career journey,
as well as
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 their private growth matter.
While
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 there are some drawbacks regarding
this
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 topic, the positive aspects themselves are
outweghing
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outweighing
 the negative ones. It is highly notable for anyone to take
risks
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 if they want to leap to the advanced level of their
live
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life
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. By having the courage to do so,
people
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 will be able to enhance their value
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be implemented in the closest community. The fact that their worthy experience of taking chances will make them tougher and learn afterwards. Other than that, having trials and errors will
adresses
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address
 their drawback,
thus
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 it can
arise
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raise
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 personal understanding and make it a valuable evaluation.
On the contrary
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, there are a number of negative aspects when it comes to taking
a
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apply
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risks
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 in
live
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life
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. First off, myriad
people
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 have fearness
to
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of
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fail
Replace the word
failure
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 which can
grow
Verb problem
cause
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 hesitation to do something crucial in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
This
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 matter
lead
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leads
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 to the reality that some
people
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 tend to stay in their comfort zone.
Moreover
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,
people
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 have the possibility to lose
another chances
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another chance
other chances
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 in life because of failure. The absence of alternative plans is the main cause of
this
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 problem.
Altough
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Although
 these disadvantages may have
specific
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a specific
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 impact
for
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on
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 certain
people
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,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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the advantages of taking
risks
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are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
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 the drawbacks. The action
to
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of
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 taking
risks
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 will
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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people
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to have
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from having
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 unanswered
curiousity
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curiosity
 and the outcome of having tried is always beneficial,
wheter
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whether
 they succeed or fail throughout the process.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a main idea and is supported by examples. More specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly to improve the logical flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Pay closer attention to grammar and spelling to avoid inaccuracies that detract from the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and attempts to weigh both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have made a good attempt at structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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