It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?BBB

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Saving
money
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has a crucial role among the population
especially
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, especially
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young members.Idea provides self-confidence and a guaranteed future for everyone’s welfare.
This
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essay completely agrees with
given
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the given
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statement and will demonstrate
main
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the main
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reasons to confirm that.
Firstly
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,the prevalence of a changeable world environment requires more attention to controlling on budget.Each individual should be able to manage
money
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accurately without any failure.
Additionally
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,an unpredictable and uncertain financial environment causes a big problem
such
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as regression of businesses and potential poverty risk among young people.
Hence
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,developing the habit of saving from an early age encourages financial
discipline
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.Because these types of small habits bring a huge benefit in a difficult situation.To illustrate
this
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,during COVID-19, business owners especially youth entrepreneurs encountered financial loss and they rescued about 45% of their detriments by implementing their own saving
money
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.
On the other hand
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,it
also
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has some benefits related to personal behaviours.It supports
a
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apply
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discipline
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and making a plan among young members.
However
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,these steps depend on
individual’s
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the individual’s
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character.Financial
discipline
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and potential indicators of forecast give more control over managing savings to people.
Moreover
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,if someone achieves enhancing
discipline
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,he
also
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will get an inner quality
such
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as self-confidence and analytical thinking.
For instance
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,based on my personal approach,l obtained to improve managing budget in the Shopify project and feel a more successful person in society through
a
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the
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right plan. In conclusion,the widespread unpredictable economy is a necessary ongoing topic among
youth
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the youth
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generation.Because accurate saving
money
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methods bring advantages like financial
discipline
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and escape potential regression.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument that supports the importance of saving money. However, ensure that your main points are clearly connected and supported by evidence or examples throughout the essay to strengthen your argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Sometimes, the transitions between points could be smoother to enhance the reader's understanding. Use linking words and phrases more effectively between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully explain your examples. For instance, you mention the impact of COVID-19 on youth entrepreneurs, but elaborating on this with a bit more detail would enhance your argument and provide clearer support for your points.
Content
Your introduction clearly outlines your main argument and sets the tone for the essay. It effectively indicates your position on the topic.
Content
You discuss relevant points about financial discipline and self-confidence related to saving money. These are important aspects and show your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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