IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows i8nformation about the percentage of th epopulation of four Asian countries living in cities and from 1970 to 2020, and with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize key features and make compariopsns where relavnmet.

The line graph shows i8nformation about the percentage of th epopulation of four Asian countries living in cities and from 1970 to 2020, and with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize key features and make compariopsns where relavnmet.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph compares the proportion of the city's population in four different countries between 1970 and 2020 and the
expection
Correct your spelling
expectation
 from 2030 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 trend can be seen in the four countries.
In addition
Linking Words
, Malaysia has the largest percentages. First of all, looking at the
grap
Correct your spelling
graph
 in more detail, in Malaysia,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 year 1970 had only 30 per cent of people living in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 it overtook
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 1997, which cities were the most density. The proportion was expected to climb to its peak
80
Change preposition
of 80
show examples
% in 2040. In the same year, Indonesia
would take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 the second place, with 62%, but it started
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 15%. The year 2010 marks the point, with 42%, that
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 was surpassed by Indonesia. After 30 years, The figure of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be the third highest around 50%.
Finally
Linking Words
, Tailandand began with 19% and
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 predicted to reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
45%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: