IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Why don’t people take environmental issues seriously in spite of being given many warning by scientists? Why don’t people save energy in their daily life? Discuss the possible causes of these phenomena and give possible solutions.

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It is true that
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems in some parts of the globe have drastically risen over the years. And people have not taken any major steps to overcome it. There are a variety of possible reasons for
this
Linking Words
. In my
opinione
Correct your spelling
opinion
, there are three main factors to blame for the way that humans care less about these environmental issues.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most civilians don't live near the natural disaster sites that were affected by it.
for instance
Linking Words
, tsunamis, volcanoes etc. so when things are out of site
then
Linking Words
 it is out of mind.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they would rather spend money and effort on what is going to happen in the short term problems as they are coming sooner.
Finally
Linking Words
, some people don't comprehend the extent of the issue as they are not educated enough .
But fortunately
Correct word choice
Fortunately
show examples
, Steps can definitely be taken to tackle these factors. I believe that the change must start with parents, who need to be educated before they conceive about the importance of saving the environment so they can pass it down to their children.
Also
Linking Words
, schools should implement a subject about the safety of our planet as a main course and have the kids
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
volunteer to clean sites and see actual damaged areas so they can take it as a lesson of what will happen if we do not take any action. At the same time, The Government should put fines
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 those who harm their communities and raise the price of plastics so people don't consume them as much. In conclusion, The environment will continue to face these problems unless parents, schools and the government set rules and demonstrate the right actions.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer and more engaging. You may consider providing a brief overview of the issues before delving into the reasons for indifference.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are supported with more specific examples or data, which would strengthen your argument and provide a better understanding for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and word choice to improve clarity. For instance, 'opinion' is misspelled as 'opinione', and 'for instance' should be followed by a comma.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow between your ideas. You can use linking words or phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs better, providing a smoother transition.
task achievement
You have identified relevant factors influencing people's lack of concern for environmental issues which shows clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your suggestions for solutions are practical and demonstrate critical thinking about how to address the concerns raised in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive dissonance
  • economic factors
  • environmental sustainability
  • eco-friendly
  • awareness campaigns
  • greenhouse gases
  • sustainable practices
  • misinformation
  • collective action
  • energy efficiency
  • climate change
  • scientific findings
  • community-based initiatives
  • peer influence
  • long-term savings
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