Some people think that children shouldn’t watch a lot of TV and play video games due to the negative impacts on their mental health. Others, otherwise, think that TV or video games help chilren be more creative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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this

Linking Words

technological age,

children

Use synonyms

nowadays

expose

Wrong verb form

are exposed

show examples

to the

Use synonyms

and

video

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games

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frequently.

While

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some may argue that watching

Use synonyms

negatively affects

children

Use synonyms

's mental

health

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, supporters propose that these electronic

games

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or devices boost

children

Use synonyms

's creativity. By the side of the supporters, watching

Use synonyms

and playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

enahnces

Correct your spelling

enhances

enhance

children

Use synonyms

's creativities. Creativity is developed by gaining

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

or experiences from daily

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

watch

cartoon

Fix the agreement mistake

cartoons

show examples

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

exciting

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

in their free time. When watching cartoons,

children

Use synonyms

can observe how the cartoon characters solve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems in different ways.

This

Linking Words

facilitates

children

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to be creative when facing difficulties. Another example is playing exciting

video

Use synonyms

games

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. Since many

video

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games

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require

children

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to fight against the enemies,

children

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have to create new ways or methods to beat the enemies after repetitive

lose

Replace the word

loss

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

Use synonyms

and

video

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games

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improve

children

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creativities

Replace the word

creativity

show examples

In contrast

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, opponents suggest that watching

Use synonyms

and playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

harm

children

Use synonyms

's mental

health

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. No matter in

Use synonyms

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

, there are always

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

and

harassment

Replace the word

harassing

show examples

scenes. Frequent exposure to these contents innate

children

Use synonyms

's violent personalities.

For instance

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

will become violent after playing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

to use

Change the verb form

using

show examples

swords or guns to fight against

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enemies virtually. They may apply these in their daily lives.

This

Linking Words

causes

children

Use synonyms

to be stressed and excited.

Therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

negatively impact

children

Use synonyms

's mental

health

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

children

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should neither watch too much

Use synonyms

nor play many

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their

harms

Fix the agreement mistake

harm

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

health

Use synonyms

and

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

not only

deteriorating

Wrong verb form

deteriorate

show examples

children

Use synonyms

's mental

health

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

physical

health

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

who watch

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and play electronic

games

Use synonyms

for a long time are more likely to be short-sighted.

Thus

Linking Words

Use synonyms

and

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

negatively influence

children

Use synonyms

health

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, though electronic devices and

games

Use synonyms

boost

children

Use synonyms

's creativity, these technological aids are detrimental to

children

Use synonyms

's physical and mental

health

Use synonyms

asllchkiedThu Apr 24 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence in your writing.

task achievement

Make sure each argument is well-supported with examples and maintain a balanced discussion between the two views.

coherence and cohesion

Proofread for spelling and grammar errors, such as 'enahnces' instead of 'enhances', to improve the overall quality.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.

task achievement

You provided some relevant examples that help to illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

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Some people think that children shouldn’t watch a lot of TV and play video games due to the negative impacts on their mental health. Others, otherwise, think that TV or video games help chilren be more creative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Many people prefer to stay in a hotel. What are the benefits and drawbacks of staying in a hotel compared with renting an apartment? What is your view on this? What do you prefer? Give reasons for your answer.

Despite scientist's warning about protecting the environment, many people do not pay attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save environment?

**Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?**

Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?