Some people prefer to spend their lives do you doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss boss this views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
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enjoy
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
routine
due to
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they create
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
progress in their
life
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and
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
new
invlove
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in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long term even if
this
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something has a
highly
Change the adverb
high
show examples
opportunity
while
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several
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
hate to fasten with routine. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
views
before
presening
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presenting
my opinion.
To begin
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,
Nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
people
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always
change
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depending on what they are
intresting
Correct your spelling
interested
in at that time especially they have a giant impact which social
media
Use synonyms
are
focters
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factors
fosters
change
Use synonyms
their habits
such
Linking Words
as me when I was changing my
intresting
Correct your spelling
interests
and habits every month
due to
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who
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whom
show examples
I following
famos
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famous
people
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on social
media
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platforms
also
Linking Words
as a younger generation I understand why they
change
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because they have
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
attention in their
life
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.
For example
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,
BBc
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BBC
has made
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conducted
show examples
an experiment
2020
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in 2020
show examples
about why
people
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change
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their habits and they
discover
Wrong verb form
discovered
show examples
the
facterests
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factors
are social
media
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platforms
that
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which
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means
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mean
show examples
people
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change
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because
who
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of who
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following
Wrong verb form
follows
show examples
.
In
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On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, not changing is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
method who have
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
goals and purpose in their
life
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or who
now
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know
show examples
what they want in their
life
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especially older
people
Use synonyms
who are living without social
media
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platforms or who already
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, I
recpect
Correct your spelling
respect
both points for anyone
prefers
Correct pronoun usage
who prefers
show examples
to
keeps
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
their activity and those who want to try a new experience, But in my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
I prefer to spend my
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
things I like.

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task achievement
It would be beneficial to clearly distinguish between the two viewpoints in your essay. Ensure that you address each viewpoint systematically and balance your discussion before presenting your own opinion. This will enhance your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to punctuation and grammar. There are several instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'enjoy with they routine' should be 'enjoy their routine'. Improving these aspects will help make your ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively. This will improve your logical structure and help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have shown the ability to discuss multiple viewpoints on the topic, which is a great strength in your essay.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as referencing the BBC experiment, provides some relevant support to your argument, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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