Some people prefer to spend their lives do you doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss boss this views and give your own opinion.
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Some
enjoy
with Correct word choice
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theyCorrect pronoun usage
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routine
they create
a Remove the article
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progress in their
and
avoidingWrong verb form
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any thing Correct your spelling
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new
aCorrect article usage
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long term even if
something has a
highlyChange the adverb
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opportunity
several
individualFix the agreement mistake
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hate to fasten with routine. In
essay, I will discuss both
before
my opinion.
Body · 1
,
NowdaysCorrect the word
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always
depending on what they are
in at that time especially they have a giant impact which social
are
their habits
as me when I was changing my
and habits every month
whoChange the pronoun
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I following
on social
platforms
as a younger generation I understand why they
because they have
manyReplace the quantifier
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attention in their
.
,
has madeWrong verb form
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an experiment
2020Change preposition
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about why
their habits and they
discoverWrong verb form
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the
are social
platforms
thatCorrect pronoun usage
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meansChange the verb form
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because
whoChange preposition
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followingWrong verb form
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.
Body · 2
InChange preposition
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otherCorrect article usage
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hand, not changing is
betterCorrect article usage
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method who have
goals and purpose in their
or who
nowCorrect your spelling
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what they want in their
especially older
who are living without social
platforms or who already
createWrong verb form
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life Fix the agreement mistake
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I
both points for anyone
prefersCorrect pronoun usage
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to
keepsWrong verb form
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their activity and those who want to try a new experience, But in my
I prefer to spend my
liveReplace the word
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doWrong verb form
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the Remove the article
show examples
some Correct quantifier usage
show examples
things I like.
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It would be beneficial to clearly distinguish between the two viewpoints in your essay. Ensure that you address each viewpoint systematically and balance your discussion before presenting your own opinion. This will enhance your task response.
Pay attention to punctuation and grammar. There are several instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'enjoy with they routine' should be 'enjoy their routine'. Improving these aspects will help make your ideas clearer.
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively. This will improve your logical structure and help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
You have shown the ability to discuss multiple viewpoints on the topic, which is a great strength in your essay.
Your use of examples, such as referencing the BBC experiment, provides some relevant support to your argument, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.