IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors anf engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their traning. others believe thy should be free to in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that people’s careers have an essential role in their
life
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lives
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.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that some jobs, like physicians and engineers, are obligated to
work
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 in the place where they receive their training, there is
also
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 an argument that there is no need to force them, as they should be free of choices. I will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals with important jobs must take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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 for serving their people in the place where they learn their professions.
In other words
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, they receive their knowledge in those
countries
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 and have adapted to their services. Not only,
people
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do people
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 of these
countries
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 get adapted, but
also
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 the individuals who
work
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 there.
For Example
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, in some nations, the governments force some
specialties
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specialities
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 to
work
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 in the same places where they get their specialities and training in. They have stayed in those towns longer because they get used to those cities. The more they stay, the more adaptation they get.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals are always looking for more comfortable cities with more salary they get. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that they search for a settlement for their families.
Similarly
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, they search for appropriate schools and convenient teaching that could not be found in their
countries
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. Take India,
for instance
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, societies prone to looking for jobs in their
countries
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, and
as a result
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, the authorities benefit from that, which
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
Use synonyms
countries’
Correct article usage
the countries’
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 economy. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to those questions. On balance,
however
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, I believe that people should be free to choose
the
Change the word
their
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 place of
work
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, despite the needs of their nations. I suggest that the governments must give incentives to some
specialties
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specialities
show examples
, so that will encourage them to stay

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Task Achievement
Your introduction generally sets up the discussion well, but can be revised for greater clarity and directness. Consider explicitly stating your opinion in the introduction instead of leaving it implied.
Task Achievement
Some of your ideas are valid, but they could be more fully developed with clearer examples or explanations. Expanding on how professionals contribute to their training countries would provide a stronger argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The connection between your paragraphs could be improved. Use more linking phrases to guide the reader through your ideas and signal shifts in your argument more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors (e.g., "an essential role" should be "a crucial role," and “the responsibilities for serving their people” can be better phrased) as they can distract from your ideas.
Task Achievement
You clearly present both sides of the argument, demonstrating the ability to engage with different perspectives.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and leaves the reader with a thought-provoking final statement about government incentives.
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