IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different place by traveling to there. other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Culture
Use synonyms
 is
an
Change the article
a
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 reflection of
ancesteral
Correct your spelling
ancestral
 livelihood, which
tell
Correct subject-verb agreement
tells
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 us how our grandparents
live
Wrong verb form
lived
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 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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while
Linking Words
 enjoying
traditional
Correct article usage
a traditional
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 lifestyle. First of all, to learn about a
culture
Use synonyms
 it is important to live in that
culture
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, because
human's
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humans
human
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learn's
Unnecessary verb
learn
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 better when they actually
experience
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 it.
Moreover
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, When one
surround
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surrounds
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 themselves
into
Change preposition
with
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 a particular
place
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, it will help him to learn
qucikly
Correct your spelling
quickly
 everything about the life of
people
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, who are living in that
culture
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.
For example
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,
i
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I
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 have always wanted to
experience
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 the
culture
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 of Punjab, i have read so many articles about it, but when I actually visited that
place
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, I got to know that the real
experience
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 is much more different than reading and watching.
However
Linking Words
, learning
Use synonyms
culture
Change preposition
about culture
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 through books and watching documentaries is
also
Linking Words
 helpful, because one gets to know everything about it,
for example
Linking Words
, it is like a map, where all the famous locations with their details are marked. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 mentioned in
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 paragraph that
i
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I
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 have read so many articles about
Use synonyms
Culture
Correct article usage
the Culture
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 of Punjab like
What's
Verb problem
What
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 the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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dish
Fix the agreement mistake
dishes
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 of Punjabi
People
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 and how they celebrate their festivals and much more. By reading and watching,
i
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I
show examples
 understood
how's
Change noun form
how
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 and
whats
Correct your spelling
what
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 it felt like
i
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I
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know
Wrong verb form
knew
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 them. In conclusion, I really think
people
Use synonyms
 should visit the
place
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 to
experience
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 the
culture
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,
however
Linking Words
 , reading through books and watching documentaries will be helpful to mix up with
people
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 easily, which is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 great advantage, but, still to really learn it, one must go to
particular
Add an article
a particular
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place
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 and live that
culture
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 for some time.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and elaborate on points made to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, expressing the importance of experiencing a culture firsthand.
task achievement
Your personal experience adds authenticity to your argument, making it relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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