IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say communication by using computers and phones will have negative effects on young people's writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 helps people.
While
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 it is a commonly held
believe
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belief
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 that contact by using phones and computers will have
negative
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a negative
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 influence on young
persons
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persons'
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 reading and writing skills, there
iis
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is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that these devices will
effect
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affect
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on
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apply
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the youngest
due to
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reliable
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the reliability
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 of AI and
Use synonyms
apps
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app
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 services. First of all, young people recently rely on mobiles to
communicated
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communicate
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 with each other
helping
Wrong verb form
helped
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 by artificial intelligence
apps
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. With the technology development most
of
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apply
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adults
using
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use
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 phones to
helping
Wrong verb form
help
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 write an essay
to
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for
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 others,
instead
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 of
slelf
Correct your spelling
self
 writing which will reflect negatively on writing because they will not be able to
writing
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write
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 themselves.
For example
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, a lot of websites and
apps
Use synonyms
 like Chat GPT provide plenty of unbelievable services which
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
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 visitors to
us
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use
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 it. Another point to consider is that most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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modern
PC
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PCs
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 can
transformaton
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transform
 the context from words to
sound
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sounds
show examples
.
In other words
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, many
apps
Use synonyms
 now
serving
Wrong verb form
serve
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 users by
transfoming
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transforming
 the
masseges
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messages
 to sound which will prevent them from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reading and
cause
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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limit of knowledge.
For instance
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,
Snapchat
Add an article
the Snapchat
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 app now
cen
Correct word choice
apply
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help users to hear the
masseges
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messages
message
 rather than read
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Therefore
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, I
totaly
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totally
 agree with
opinion
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the opinion
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 that
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this devices
Change the determiner
this device
these devices
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 have a negative impact. In conclusion, despite having different views, I believe that communication by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
divces
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devices
 like
PC
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PCs
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 and mobiles will impact adults negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading and writing skills because of full
relying
Replace the word
reliance
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 on them
helping
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to contact others.

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language
Ensure correct spelling and grammar throughout your essay. For example, 'technology' instead of 'technolgy', 'belief' instead of 'believe', and 'transform' instead of 'transformaton'.
structure
Clarify your arguments and ensure each point directly supports your overall thesis. This would help improve coherence and make your argument more persuasive.
content
Include more specific examples or explanations to strengthen your points. For instance, describe how excessive reliance on technology specifically affects writing and reading skills in more detail.
content
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction, which helps orient the reader to your position on the topic.
content
You attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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