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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, the quality of education is very low. Some people think that we should encourage our students to evaluate and criticize their teachers; others believe that this would result in a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People seem to have contradictory views concerning whether should support students judging the teaching level during learning
while
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 others believe that
this
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 behaviour will contribute to a disrespectful outcome. I believe that the latter point of view is more convincing and applicable in most contexts. It is undeniable that embracing diversity is undeniable and manifold. The first benefit is that it exposes us to different perspectives and experiences, which stimulates us to think creatively and divergently. Individuals may
also
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 be motivated to challenge the existing norms and assumptions, and even generate breakthrough innovations that can transform the status quo and create new value. Admittedly,
such
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 behaviour has yielded some benefits, but they are insignificant compared to the damage it causes. Excessive judgment would cause damage to the authority of the faculty, which may lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
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massive difficulty in campus management. Students who fail to behave properly will present an adverse demonstration to peers,
thus
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 illustrating an aggressive manner to those who haven't formed a mature mindset. Gentle and considerate communication tactics are
one
Correct determiner usage
some
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 of the soft skills people should cultivate in education. Mild discussion and friendly communication are more encouraged
while
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 questions occur, other than aggressively criticizing. Based on the aforementioned, though teaching quality demands supervision, Communication is more encouraged towards different opinions and discipline in school is crucial.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating the topic and both perspectives, without ambiguous phrases. Also, the conclusion should clearly restate your opinion instead of a more general statement.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly relates to the task prompt. It may help to more explicitly state how each point supports your overall argument against students judging teachers.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For example, real-life scenarios or studies that show the effects of student criticism on teacher authority would enhance your points significantly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving transitions between your points to enhance the flow of your arguments. This can make it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.
content
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement. You effectively convey your belief that student criticism may lead to negative consequences in the classroom.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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