Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The prevalence of
competitive
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a competitive
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environment
at
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in
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education and career sectors
cause
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causes
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debate
among
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in
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society.Some of them think
competition
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encourages
a
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apply
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productivity
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and
an
Correct article usage
apply
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innovation positively
while
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others
emphasizes
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emphasize
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it leads to less
a
Correct article usage
apply
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cooperation
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and
team-work
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teamwork
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.
This
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essay will provide
both
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perspectives before presenting my own view. In
favor
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favour
show examples
of the first argument,
the
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apply
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competition
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indeed increases
productivity
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indicators
at
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in
show examples
each field.Because everyone tries to differ from other members of society due
their
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to their
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performance and skills.It
also
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leads to improving of more learning new abilities
such
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as adaptation to cutting edges and changeable
world
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conditions.Including these alters:implementation of artificial intelligence in each process and demand
to
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for
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self-development
program
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programs
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.
Additionally
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,
the
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apply
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productivity
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brings innovations and new functions to the
world
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.Various companies develop
day
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by
day
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through
competition
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.
For instance
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,Apple and Samsung are one of the best competitive companies
due to
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their advertising campaigns and viral products so Apple
offers
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
Correct article usage
the Iphone
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Iphone
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iPhone
14 and immediately Samsung
creates
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created
show examples
S24
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the S24
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model for
difference
Add an article
the difference
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.
On the other hand
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,the competitive environment has some drawbacks for people who prefer to
doing
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do
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anything with
team
Correct article usage
a team
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.Because some issues or solutions really require
cooperation
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and negotiation among
population
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the population
show examples
.If
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
give
Change the verb form
gives
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a preference to make a competitive aura
instead
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of team-working,it leads to ignorance of major
problem
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problems
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in the
world
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.
Hence
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,the population especially big organizations use
cooperation
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each
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with each
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other.To illustrate
this
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,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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Nations Climate Change arranges Conference of the Parties events to solve global
environment
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environmental
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concerns each year in the
world
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. In my opinion,
a
Remove the article
apply
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competition
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has a crucial role
at
Change preposition
in
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both
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work and education.It triggers innovation so it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
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methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
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to meet customer needs for business.Because consumer behaviour in the market changes
day
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by
day
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.
In contrast
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,
more
Correct article usage
a more
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competitive atmosphere is not
best
Correct article usage
the best
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way among people.My approach is each
leaders
Change to a singular noun
leader
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should create a cooperative atmosphere like finding new innovations through
team-work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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so
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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will be
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a balance between
competition
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and
cooperation
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. In conclusion,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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competition
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causes
both
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positive approaches
such
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as
productivity
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and innovation,and a negative effect like less partnership.
According to
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my opinion,every leader who has
commitment
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a commitment
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in any group should consider a balance between
both
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sides.

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Task Achievement
The introduction provides a good overview of the topic but could be clearer in stating your thesis. Consider explicitly stating your opinion in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs could be more clearly defined and focused on a single main idea. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve coherence.
Task Achievement
The essay could benefit from additional examples or evidence to support your points, particularly in the discussion of cooperation and its importance.
Task Achievement
You have effectively discussed both perspectives, which is important in a discussion essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your vocabulary and expressions demonstrate a good range and understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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