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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The four pie charts compare the
units
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 generation from five different resources in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 period, the two countries relied on different fuel sources to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
. Coal was the major approach to generating
electricity
Use synonyms
 in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the use of natural
gas
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
 had become the least.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nuclear power replaced coal and natural
gas
Use synonyms
 became the dominant method in France. In Australia, in 1980, coal accounted for the largest proportion of generating
electricity
Use synonyms
, at 50
units
Use synonyms
, followed by
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
 and natural
gas
Use synonyms
, both at 20
units
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the utilization of
oil
Use synonyms
 was merely 10
units
Use synonyms
. In the subsequent 20 years, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of coal had increased by nearly two times, at 130
units
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the usage of natural
gas
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
 sharply decreased to 2
units
Use synonyms
 individually, but the proportion of hydropower rose to 36
units
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, France had a more balanced allocation to producing
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 1980. The
consumption
Use synonyms
 of coal and natural
gas
Use synonyms
 were identical at 25
units
Use synonyms
 ranking the first, followed by
oil
Use synonyms
 at 20
units
Use synonyms
. In the next 20 years, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of natural
gas
Use synonyms
 had surged from 15
units
Use synonyms
 to 126
units
Use synonyms
 becoming the most popular way to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
naturalgas
Correct your spelling
natural gas
natural-gas
consumption
Use synonyms
 had significantly dropped to 2,
similarly
Linking Words
, hydro-power fell to the same level.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
oil
Use synonyms
 had
instead
Linking Words
 risen to 25
units
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words units, electricity, gas, oil, consumption with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • units of electricity production
  • fuel source
  • dominant source
  • reliance on coal
  • hydroelectric power
  • natural gas
  • significant reduction
  • primary source
  • drastically increased
  • transition
  • existing infrastructure
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