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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A university education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The question of
wheter
Correct your spelling
whether
 higher
education
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 should be open
for
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to
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 all
students
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 is an ongoing debate in many
countries
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.
While
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 some people believe that
education
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 should be free of cost, others argue that
this
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 would put too much strain on public finances. I partially agree, that
education
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 should be accessible to all people, but it might not be practical in every country. On the one hand, free university
educatio
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education
 would enable
an
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apply
show examples
equal access to the people, regardless of their income. Many talented
students
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 can not afford to attend higher
education
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 because of the tuition fees. Their only possibilities are applying for a scholarship or taking on debts, which they need to pay off by working multiple jobs during university and even after. Higher
education
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 has
also
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 a positive impact on the development and productivity of a country and
therefore
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 can increase the
overall
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 GPD.
As a result
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, the profit can be reinvested in
education
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.
On the contrary
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, making free
education
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 possible for all
students
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 may not be economical for the
countries
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. The governmental expenses to finance a high-quality university
education
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 for the growing number of
students
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 should not be underestimated.
Therefore
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, spending more money in the educational sector leads to reduced funding in other sectors
such
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 as health care and infrastructure. For poorer
countries
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this
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 balance is almost impossible to achieve, leading to
a
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an
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 even bigger gap between high-industrial and third-world
countries
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. In conclusion, I think that access to higher
education
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 systems should be free of charge regardless
their
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of their
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 background but the economic challenges should be kept in mind and strategies to create solutions for funding need to be developed.

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Grammar and Spelling
Ensure all words are spelled correctly to enhance clarity. For instance, 'wheter' should be 'whether' and 'educatio' should be 'education'.
Content Development
Try to make each point more comprehensive by providing specific examples. For instance, mention specific countries or programs where education is free or the impact of underfunding on specific sectors.
Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by varying your sentence structures and linking ideas more smoothly. Use connectors to help guide the reader through your argument.
Content Development
You provide a balanced perspective by addressing both sides of the debate, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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