IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams illustrate the current layout of a university sport and the proposed changes after development.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centre is likely to undergo some significant changes. The most striking changes are the development of the two outdoor
courts
Use synonyms
 and the addition of various
sports
Use synonyms
 facilities. At present, the
sports
Use synonyms
 centre comprises a 25-meter pool with adjacent seating, a gym, changing rooms, and outdoor
courts
Use synonyms
. The entrance leads directly to a reception area, which provides access to the pool and likely other facilities, with a gym located directly to the north,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
changing room to the west. The two outdoor
courts
Use synonyms
 are situated to the west and east of the building.
According to
Linking Words
 future plans, the outdoor
courts
Use synonyms
 will be removed to make way for new indoor activities. On the west side, a large irregular leisure pool will be added,
along with
Linking Words
 an additional changing room and a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop. On the east side, the current door court will be replaced by a
sports
Use synonyms
 hall and two dance studios. A café and another changing room will
also
Linking Words
 be constructed in the southeast corner. The gym is planned to double in size
while
Linking Words
 the remaining features will stay unchanged.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the diagrams, but you could enhance it by briefly mentioning the main features that will change. A more detailed analysis of the proposed changes would also strengthen your response.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is good; however, using transition words or phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly would improve coherence. For instance, you could use 'in contrast' when discussing changes to the outdoor courts.
task achievement
You have provided relevant details about the current and proposed layout, but consider adding more specific comparisons between the two plans in each paragraph to support your points further.
positive
The essay effectively describes both the current layout and the proposed changes in a clear manner, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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