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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in seven different types of profession across the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in seven different types of profession across the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.
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The bar chart indicates the average of seven different executives in seven categories
professions
Change preposition
of professions
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 in the UK compared to
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 in the year 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
construction
Use synonyms
 has the highest number of
males
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 teaching with the greatest figure of
females
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, most
women
Use synonyms
 are therapists more than men almost four times.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the amount of scientists, law and advertising are similar.
Initially
Linking Words
, 90% of
women
Use synonyms
 are an expertise in teaching
as well as
Linking Words
construction
Use synonyms
 with the same percentage.
While
Linking Words
 the figure of professions taught by
males
Use synonyms
 is different from the constructions circa 80% ( male teaching 10%) same as
women
Use synonyms
 the
construction
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of
females
Use synonyms
 being
expertise
Replace the word
expert
show examples
therapists is approximately 80% but only 19% of
males
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 type. Not only teaching and
construction
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 journalism which has the same amount 50% of both genders.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the quantities of
males
Use synonyms
 in
are
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 profession of science and law is more than
women
Use synonyms
 around 10-20%( male scientists are about 60% and
women
Use synonyms
 are just 40% and professional law in
males
Use synonyms
 is close to 60% but only 42% in
females
Use synonyms
).
In contrast
Linking Words
, the advertising in
women
Use synonyms
 more than men briefly 10% ( female 55% and male 45%).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, construction, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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