IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You were recently impressed by a staff member at a supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter: • Describe the situation • Explain how you were helped • State what you are going to do as a result of this good experience

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Dear sir, Hope you are doing
good
Change the word
well
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. My name is Lovepreet Kaur, a regular customer at the supermarket. The purpose of writing
this
Linking Words
 letter is to tell you about one of your great
employ
Replace the word
employees
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 named Rahul. It was
last
Linking Words
saturday
Change the capitalization
Saturday
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 when I
visisted
Correct your spelling
visited
 to supermarket for groceries. That day, I was with my family. My younger brother is very naughty. When he was on
escalator
Correct article usage
the escalator
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 he fell down. Fortunately, he had
minoe
Correct your spelling
minor
 injuries. But,
due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
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 my parents got upset. After some time my mother realised that her purse was missing. She had her cards, license and some cash in that bag. We searched everywhere but
unable
Add a missing verb
were unable
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 to find it. At that time, Rahul helped us. He went to
lost
Correct article usage
the lost
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 and found department with us and we got it back with everything inside it. Someone submitted it there. He
also
Linking Words
,
take
Wrong verb form
took
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 care of my brother because he had some injuries. He offered
First
Correct article usage
a First
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 Aid kit as well. That was
such
Linking Words
 a nice
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
. Through
this
Linking Words
 letter, I would like to thank him and invite him for dinner at my home. Can you please convey
this
Linking Words
 msg to him
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 If, he has any
inquiry
Fix the agreement mistake
inquiries
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 feel free to contact
at
Correct pronoun usage
us at
show examples
 4377890865. Hoping to see him soon Yours faithfully, Lovepreet

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task achievement
Consider adding a more specific introduction that outlines the purpose of the letter more clearly, such as stating you want to recognize good service.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs by using transitions. For example, use 'After this' or 'Following this incident' when describing the help received.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to proofread to catch minor spelling errors like 'employ' (should be 'employee') and 'minoe' (should be 'minor').
positive
The letter expresses gratitude and portrays a personal touch, which enhances the overall tone of appreciation.
positive
The description of the incident clearly conveys the emotion of the moment, bringing authenticity to the narrative.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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