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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think only best students should be rewarded. Others think we should reward students who make progress. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, it has been widely recognized that awarding should be limited to successful
scholars
Use synonyms
 only,
while
Linking Words
 others
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 in rewarding
scholars
Use synonyms
 who make a development and effort. From my perspective, I fully agree with
both
Use synonyms
 views in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 way of situations. In the following
paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
show examples
 I will discuss
both
Use synonyms
 views
while
Linking Words
 giving the reasons behind my agreement and disagreement
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each one, yet I will debate my opinion. On the one hand, awarding only pupils who make accomplishments may have many potential advantages.
For example
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will encourage
students
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 not already achieved anything in their undergraduate studies
in achieving
Change preposition
to achieve
show examples
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 on
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
successes
Fix the agreement mistake
success
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. To explain,
students
Use synonyms
 who
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 and show
an exceptional
Correct the article-noun agreement
an exceptional ability
exceptional abilities
show examples
abilities
Use synonyms
 will be awarded,
while
Linking Words
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 others who
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not will begin
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drawing their plans to
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
a developments
Correct the article-noun agreement
developments
a development
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 in their life as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of pupils make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developments in their performance
should
Correct word choice
and should
show examples
 be awarded for their
progresses
Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
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 as well.
For instance
Linking Words
, countless
scholars
Use synonyms
make
Verb problem
do
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 their best in achieving many academic and personal accomplishments, but
therefore
Linking Words
 they achieve minor achievements in
comparing
Replace the word
comparison
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 to the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 gifted
scholars
Use synonyms
. To clarify,
students
Use synonyms
 have different ways of thinking and gaining information, so they should be awarded based on their own skills and knowledge, yet their own
abilities
Use synonyms
 and progress.
Overall
Linking Words
, in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 I believe
students
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 ways should be awarded based on their own expertise and personal achievements. To cite an instance, many
students
Use synonyms
 cannot afford the same opportunities as the rest of their peers. To illustrate, many
students
Use synonyms
 have different degrees of needs, skills and
abilities
Use synonyms
, yet experiences.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 to be fair,
students
Use synonyms
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 different ways of admiration
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their achievements and
prgression
Correct your spelling
progression
, to continue possessing their best in their own journey.
To sum up
Linking Words
, after analyzing
both
Use synonyms
 views of awarding
scholars
Use synonyms
 whether basing it on their success or
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their progress, we believe successful pupils should be rewarded
to give
Change preposition
for giving
show examples
 more,
as well as
Linking Words
 for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 make
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
show examples
, so each student will be evaluated based on his own
abilities
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, no student will be feeling disappointed and
this
Linking Words
 will be based on
fairly
Change the adverb
fair
show examples
 evaluation.

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task achievement
Revise and clarify your thesis statement to make it more specific, ensuring your viewpoint is clearly stated in one concise sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs for improved flow. Consider using linking words and phrases to guide your reader more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or elaboration to support your points, as this will strengthen your arguments and make them more impactful.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion of both views, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas presented in your essay, reiterating the importance of recognizing both success and progress.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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