IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Many individuals today opt for self-employment
instead
Linking Words
 of working for a company or organization. Most
people
Use synonyms
 working in companies are
high
Replace the word
highly
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 educated. And not all
people
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 have it,
that is
Linking Words
 why some
people
Use synonyms
 choose their own
business
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, jobs in organizations demand not only education but
also
Linking Words
 some skills and health. If a
person
Use synonyms
 does not have any skills of chatting or talking with another
person
Use synonyms
 or does not have any clear speech, accepting them to the company can be very hard. Because customer satisfaction and comfort are very important to them. Opening an own
business
Use synonyms
 depends on psychology and the character of humans.
For example
Linking Words
person
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 who hates to depend on someone or a
person
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 who is always dissatisfied with their salary usually creates his own job. Sometimes they follow and continue their fathers' jobs.
Business
Use synonyms
 ownership has several disadvantages.
For example
Linking Words
 taxes, a
person
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 who earns money from
business
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 should pay taxes to the government. In some countries, taxes are high, but in others, they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
existing
Wrong verb form
exist
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.
Way
Correct article usage
The way
show examples
 to have
successful
Add an article
a successful
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business
Use synonyms
 is very hard and starts with failure,
person
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 fails several times. A human who has iron patience achieves his dreams. A
person
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 may fail, but they need to understand all the pain and suffering, and in some situations, they need to start everything from the beginning. The next disadvantage, affording
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
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 of the family members can be hard, a man who puts his money
on
Change preposition
into
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 enterprises, can not finance their
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
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, and it is impossible to spend time with them. In conclusion, a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 today choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization.

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main aspects of the topic, but more detailed examples and explanations would enhance your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Consider using linking words to better connect your thoughts.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentence structures for clarity and grammatical accuracy. This will help convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You effectively introduce the topic and provide a clear stance on self-employment versus traditional employment.
task achievement
You have identified some key disadvantages of being self-employed, which adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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