Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In today’s world, it is often said that crime rates have gone down compared to the past because of advanced
technology
Use synonyms
that helps to prevent and solve criminal activities.
This
Linking Words
essay partially
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with
this
Linking Words
idea.
While
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
Use synonyms
plays a key role in reducing some
crimes
Use synonyms
, it is not always effective, and in some cases, it may even create new kinds of
crimes
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, advanced tools like new
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of cameras, fingerprint systems, and digital tracking have helped law enforcement to
solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
cases more quickly and accurately.
For example
Linking Words
, CCTV cameras in public areas can catch people doing illegal actions, which helps the police to find and arrest them. GPS and mobile phone data
also
Linking Words
help to
tracking
Wrong verb form
track
show examples
criminals or missing people. Because of
this
Linking Words
, some criminals are afraid of getting caught and may stop their illegal activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
has not stopped all
crimes
Use synonyms
. In fact, some
crimes
Use synonyms
are growing because of it. Cybercrimes
such
Linking Words
as hacking, online scams, and identity theft have become more common with the rise of the internet.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2019, a global cyberattack targeted a major healthcare system in the United States, stealing sensitive patient information and disrupting hospital operations. Criminals can now operate from different countries and avoid
to get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
caught easily.
Also
Linking Words
, in some poor or rural areas, there is not enough
technology
Use synonyms
to prevent or solve
crimes
Use synonyms
, so traditional
crimes
Use synonyms
like robbery and violence still are serious problems there. In conclusion, advanced
technology
Use synonyms
has played an important role in reducing certain types of
crimes
Use synonyms
by helping authorities detect and solve cases more efficiently.
However
Linking Words
, it has
also
Linking Words
contributed to the rise of new forms of crime,
such
Linking Words
as cybercrimes, and may not be effective in all regions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, but it might be helpful to elaborate a little on the reasons you agree partially to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In the second body paragraph, consider using more signposting language to indicate when you are presenting a contrasting point (e.g., 'On the other hand').
task achievement
Try to provide a more specific example in the first body paragraph to enhance the clarity of your points about technological advantages.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and provides a balanced view on the topic, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of technology in crime prevention.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with distinct paragraphs that facilitate readability, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: