In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, the pursuit of looking younger has become a significant trend, leading many individuals to invest heavily in their appearance. The essay will discuss
firstly
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, the reasons for it, as looking young is associated with a sign of beauty and being well-groomed,
then
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it's a negative development,
such
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as serious health problems.
To begin
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with, one of the major reasons for
this
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is the societal pressure that associates youth with adorableness, vitality, and success.
That is
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to say, social media and advertisements frequently make it seem like being young is the most attractive and important, usually showing young celebrities and models as examples of beauty and success.
For instance
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, on platforms like Instagram, influencers and brands often post pictures of models like Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, and Irina Shayk, who look very youthful, and
this
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is seen as a representation of attractiveness and naturalness in the fashion world.
As a result
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, girls all over the world strive to look as young as these "ideal" standards suggest.
On the other hand
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, focusing too much on looking younger can lead to serious health risks, especially when society
use
Change the verb form
uses
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unsafe treatments,
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
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risky surgeries
and
Correct word choice
apply
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,
moreover
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,
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
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on untested beauty products to change their appearance.
For example
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, an interview was conducted with the popular actress Susan Sarandon, who openly talked about undergoing cosmetic procedures,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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shared the consequences of plastic surgeries that led to irreversible results and worsened skin
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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. She faced complications, including infections.
This
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case highlights the risks associated with the pursuit of eternal youth through surgical interventions. In conclusion,
while
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humanity often pushes individuals to maintain a youthful appearance, the pursuit of perpetual youth through cosmetic procedures can lead to serious health risks, as seen in the case of Susan Sarandon.

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task achievement
Expand on your main arguments with more detailed explanations and examples. This will help to enhance your points and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay. This might involve using more linking phrases to enhance connectivity between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction that outlines your essay structure, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the case of Susan Sarandon, effectively illustrates your points and adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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