IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting man features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting man features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates four
transportation
Use synonyms
 means and the proportion of using them in Edmonton.
In addition
Linking Words
, the table shows the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 using
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of people use
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and LRT as their
transportation
Use synonyms
 means in Edmonton,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 with
insignificantly
Change the adverb
insignificant
show examples
 shares.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Commute to work, business and taking children to school are the most important reason respectively, why people use
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the information given by the pie chart,
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is the most popular
transportation
Use synonyms
mean by
Verb problem
with
show examples
 45%. LRT
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
 the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 way
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 recorded
35
Change preposition
at 35
show examples
%,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by bus and taxi with an identical proportion (10%).
In addition
Linking Words
, the table shows that
commute
Replace the word
commuting
show examples
 to work is the main reason for using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
55%.
As well as
Linking Words
, business and taking children to school have considerable shares with 45% and 40% respectively.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end, shopping and leisure activities are the
last
Linking Words
 reason with
an identical proportions
Correct the article-noun agreement
identical proportions
an identical proportion
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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