As populations grow, places of natural beauty in cities are being used for constructing new houses.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today,
while
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increasing in population,natural beauty spots are destroyed to construct new
houses
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. I will examine why disadvantages
such
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as leading to inconvenience for
people
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, of the given perspective outweigh advantages
such
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as giving a chance to own or
rent
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houses
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. On the one hand, the main demerit of
destruction
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the destruction
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of natural
beauties
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beauty
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to use for new buildings
,
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apply
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is that
this
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temporary
contruction
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construction
process causes discomfort among residents.
Due to
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not having other
activites
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activities
like the young, older generations are eager to be in nature by talking to peers.
Moreover
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, parents want their kids to spend time playing outdoor
activites
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activities
in nature
instead
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of playing games on
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their phone
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phone
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phones
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or watching TV.
For instance
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,
recent
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in recent
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research conducted by Masaryk University, spending more time on screen
of
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on
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these devices causes
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mental eye-strain
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eye-strain
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eye strain
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and fatigue
mentally
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apply
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.
Additionally
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,if nature
are
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is
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being used for building new
houses
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, it will cause
sheer
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a sheer
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valume
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volume
of noise which worries women endeavouring to make their babies sleep or students and pupils preparing for important exams.
On the other hand
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,
inspite
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in spite
of concerns,it has
also
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advantages by providing a chance to own or
rent
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house
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a house
the house
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.As populations rise,
people
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who live in the countryside, do not want to move to cities because of lacking of suitable
houses
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.
That is
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to say, constructing new
houses
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especially helps students coming to study in
city
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the city
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,
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rent
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to rent
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houses
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within
the
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apply
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their budget.
For instance
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, lacking
of
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apply
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another house for married
couple
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couples
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, they are forced to live with many relatives in the same house.
Therefore
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,
due to
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misunderstandings between spouses, the number of divorces increases. In conclusion, owing to the growth of populations in cities, it leads
a
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to a
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need for new
houses
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.
Although
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it is
blessing
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a blessing
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for
people
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to own or
rent
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houses
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to live with
a
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apply
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less worry, it takes natural
beautyfrom
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beauty from
both the old and young by
destroy
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destroying
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them
as well as
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it arises
Verb problem
creating
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a challenging situation for
people
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doing important tasks.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main argument. Consider framing your essay with a more definitive stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use clearer transition phrases between your paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument. This will help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of phrases and concepts. For instance, the phrase 'to own or rent houses' appears multiple times. Varying your vocabulary can enhance the overall readability of the essay.
Task Achievement
You have presented relevant examples to support your arguments, particularly regarding the impact of urbanization on families and children. This adds depth to your essay.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and show an understanding of the topic, and your points are relevant to the question posed.
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