IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

Is that right that lives now are difficult to escape the influence of the
media
Use synonyms
? I think
this
Linking Words
 is true.
First
Add a comma
First,
show examples
 we can do is to admit it
nows
Correct your spelling
now
show examples
 are the
era
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 there is a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
media
Use synonyms
 around us. The
media
Use synonyms
 gives us
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
show examples
 of news that can affect how we
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. So, in
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 we must have critical thinking as a basis
knowledge
Change preposition
for knowledge
show examples
. The rich of
media
Use synonyms
arounds
Correct your spelling
around
 us sure can affect our life in a good way or a bad way. So,
this
Linking Words
 is the important
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 for us to have
a
Remove the article
apply
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good critical thinking for filtering the
information
Use synonyms
 we get from the
media
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our social
media
Use synonyms
 homepage, sometimes there is an account that
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 us the
information
Use synonyms
 and just one
sentences
Fix the agreement mistake
sentence
show examples
 to attract our likes to that
posts
Fix the agreement mistake
post
show examples
. Sometimes
thats
Correct your spelling
those
post
Correct subject-verb agreement
posts
show examples
 are fake or overrated
information
Use synonyms
 just to make their account have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of engagement.
And if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 we
can
Verb problem
do
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 not realize is
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a fake news
Remove the article
fake news
a piece of fake news
show examples
, we can
made
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 a wrong decision and the effect can be really bad for us or the people
around
Correct pronoun usage
around us
show examples
. So,
this
Linking Words
 is why we need critical thinking to filter something like that. Before, we had
talk
Change the verb form
talked
show examples
 about
Correct article usage
the disadvantage
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disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the amount of
media
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. But, we just must have fair
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
show examples
 for
that is
Linking Words
 right. I think the much of
media
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 around us can help us too. A
lot
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 of
media
Use synonyms
 can
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 us more
angle
Fix the agreement mistake
angles
show examples
,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 perspective, and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
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 we can
made
Change the verb form
make
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 based on all that
information
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. The rich of
media
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 means rich of
information
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 and we can get a hundred different
information
Use synonyms
 in a day. So for the
Linking Words
last
Add a comma
last,
show examples
 we need
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 grateful to the
media
Use synonyms
 around us for
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
 us a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
information
Use synonyms
. In the end, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 always
positive
Fix the agreement mistake
positives
show examples
 and
negative
Fix the agreement mistake
negatives
show examples
 in all events. What we can do
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 accept and admit the changes had
happen
Change the verb form
happened
show examples
. For the
last
Linking Words
 we need to
adaptive
Replace the word
adapt
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
era
Use synonyms
, have a good mindset and good critical thinking.

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Task Achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating the advantages and disadvantages of a media-rich society. This will help create a clear roadmap for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use proper grammar and structure to improve readability, particularly in complex sentences. Proofreading can help catch typos and grammatical errors.
Task Achievement
Ensure your examples are well-explained and relevant. This will add depth to your arguments. For instance, elaborate on how a specific media example has led to either positive or negative consequences.
Task Achievement
Your understanding of the importance of critical thinking in the context of media is well articulated, showing a strong grasp of a key issue in media consumption.
Task Achievement
You effectively acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of a media-rich society, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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