(Livia) With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often debated whether getting

news

Use synonyms

from social

media

Use synonyms

platforms is good or bad

although

Linking Words

getting stories

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online is

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

common situation

thesedays

Correct your spelling

these days

While

Linking Words

some

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

the internet is effective and comfortable, others argue that getting

news

Use synonyms

from social

media

Use synonyms

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to negative effects. In my

opninion

Correct your spelling

opinion

, getting

news

Use synonyms

from social

media

Use synonyms

has both advantages and disadvantages. So a balanced approach is the most beneficial, and I will explain why in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand,

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

consider

Change the verb form

considers

show examples

that getting articles from social

media

Use synonyms

is dangerous because of fake

news

Use synonyms

issues.

Judgeing

Correct your spelling

Judging

the

information

Use synonyms

weather

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

it is fake or true is difficult for ordinary

people

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, it is true that social

media

Use synonyms

is easy to access.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

means amateurs can create

not clear

Rephrase

unclear

show examples

information

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of experts. False data can

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

damages

Correct subject-verb agreement

damage

show examples

not only

Change preposition

apply

show examples

individuals like influencers,

entertainers

Correct word choice

and entertainers

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

countries.

For example

Linking Words

, famous

people

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as influencers, politicians and entertainers can be

targetted

Correct your spelling

targeted

show examples

easily.

On the other hand

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

think getting data

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online can

beneficial

Add a missing verb

be beneficial

show examples

since it is easy to access.

Thesedays

Correct your spelling

These days

, we have to pay if we want to receive great quality of

information

Use synonyms

. Plus, not everyone can understand data

clarify

Replace the word

clarity

show examples

However

Linking Words

, social

media

Use synonyms

offers

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

for free and

also

Linking Words

online

lactures

Correct your spelling

lectures

. If

people

Use synonyms

check facts one more time before sharing

information

Use synonyms

Change preposition

with

show examples

others, getting

news

Use synonyms

from social

media

Use synonyms

can be helpful for many

people

Use synonyms

who have difficulty accessing

information

Use synonyms

ryunman0901Sun Apr 27 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction presents the main idea clearly, but consider rephrasing "common situation these days" for clarity and correctness. Additionally, try to clearly state your position more definitively to strengthen your introduction.

coherence cohesion

The main points could be organized more clearly with smooth transitions. For example, when moving from disadvantages to advantages, a transition sentence may create better flow between these ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.

coherence cohesion

There are instances of spelling and grammatical errors that slightly distract from your message. Proofreading for errors like 'belive', 'opninion', and 'lactures' will improve clarity. Additionally, consider using more varied vocabulary to enhance sophistication.

task achievement

You successfully address both sides of the argument in your essay, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

disadvantages
advantages
disinformation
polarization
authenticity
user-generated content
engagement
diversity of viewpoints
editorial oversight
real-time
current events

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(Livia) With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.