IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In the past, most people lived in small village where everyone knew every else. Nowadays, most people live in the large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

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First of all, we should clarify,
initially
Linking Words
 , how the relationships are in small communities. So, people recognize each other very well
can
Correct word choice
and can
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 communicate easily.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 you do not have a big group of people, just you know a few.
However
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, you have close ties with them.
Instead
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 of having a big group of people,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would rather be in
small
Correct article usage
a small
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, but
well communicating
Add a hyphen
well-communicating
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 society. Because, whenever you have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help, they endorse more effectively. Moving on
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 main question, it has both disadvantages and advantages. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 said above, you do not have broad contacts with others
providing
Wrong verb form
provided
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 you live in a small community.
On the other hand
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, as you are well-contacted every day, your privacy is disappearing gradually and you should try to hide or protect on your own.
Nonethless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, it has many
advantegous
Correct your spelling
advantages
advantageous
. so that you have close connections.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of living in
small
Add an article
a small
the small
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 town
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have
partiality
Add an article
a partiality
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in big cities.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or experiences to support your points about the advantages and disadvantages of living in small communities.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your points more clearly, perhaps by using paragraphs for each idea to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion at the end of your essay, which is important for task completion.
task achievement
Your understanding of the topic is evident, and you made an effort to discuss both sides of the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social bonds
  • sense of belonging
  • mutual support
  • resource sharing
  • collaborative environment
  • safety and security
  • privacy
  • personal space
  • opportunities
  • employment
  • brain drain
  • traditional values
  • stifling growth
  • innovation
What to do next:
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