IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say material possessions are very useful in bringing us happiness, but others argue that they are useless in terms of providing happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some
individuals
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 believe that
happiness
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 can be brought only by having the possession of materials which provide comfort and convenience in their
life
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, a better
lifestyle
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, and raise their social status etcetera.
Whereas
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 others opine that real
happiness
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 comes only by having experience, satisfaction and
by
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apply
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the strong bondings of their loved ones. I totally agree with the latter view because I believe that materialistic things are not able to feel happier than ever. One of the views which supports materialistic
possessions
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 provides comfort and convenience to
the
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individuals
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 who have a desire to lead a better quality
lifestyle
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. Automatically, they feel satisfied when they lead a dreamy and luxurious
lifestyle
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.
For instance
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, having an expensive car and living in a mansion aids in improving their living conditions.
Moreover
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, the
possessions
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 of luxury items
such
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 as electronic goods, and fashionable clothes make their look so attractive and they feel more confident and happy by having it.
In addition
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, the
possessions
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 of high-end products are a sign of their achievements and success in their
life
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. People like to spend on expensive items to celebrate their achievements in a different way
such
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 as organizing parties and buying SUV cars helps to raise their social status in society and maintain their self-esteem in society as well.
However
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, I think material
possessions
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 make
individuals
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 more greedy and selfish. They hardly get enough time to spend with their families which raises conflicts in their later
life
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.
Conversely
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, the majority of
individuals
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 think that they
individuals
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 are not able to differentiate the difference between real and real reality. They just follow the trends to celebrate their
happiness
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 alike others but real
happiness
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 can be brought only by having experience or learning any skill in the quickest way.
For instance
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, completing a French course in just one month not only satisfies them but
also
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 opens employment opportunities in other countries
too
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. Another point is that a balanced and healthy relationship among family members helps to relieve their stress and make
ther
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their
 strong bondings with each other.
Then
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, they can easily know the true meaning of
happiness
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. I believe that the minimal promotes the idea that these
possesions
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possessions
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 bring positivity and
happiness
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 in their
life
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.
To sum up
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, materialistic things provide a comfy and better
lifestyle
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 to
individuals
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 undoubtedly but real
happiness
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 and the true meaning of
life
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 can only be brought by having experiences and the support of their family members.

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task achievement
While your introduction offers a clear overview of the topic, consider refining your thesis statement to be more direct and specific regarding your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that relates back to your thesis. This will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear connection between your examples and your main ideas. This will strengthen your arguments and clarify your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor grammatical issues and word choices that may confuse readers. Reviewing these aspects will improve overall clarity and coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the reference to luxury items and family bonds, adds depth to your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • material possessions
  • happiness
  • comfort
  • convenience
  • quality of life
  • self-esteem
  • social status
  • symbols of achievement
  • personal fulfillment
  • experiences
  • relationships
  • personal achievements
  • materialism
  • minimalism
  • cycle of wanting
  • long-lasting happiness
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