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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates data regarding Austria's,
Britian's
Correct your spelling
Britain's
,
Belguim
Use synonyms
's and Spain's shopping habits in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
 spends the most
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all categories,
while
Linking Words
spain
Change the capitalization
Spain
show examples
 and
belgium
Change the capitalization
Belgium
show examples
 are tied for second place and Austria spends the least. The data has shown that
British
Use synonyms
 people are the highest consumer of goods in each section spending £170,000 on cameras and just over £165,000 on toys.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Austrians
Correct article usage
the Austrians
show examples
 are the next big spenders, they have spent
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approximate
Change the word
approximately
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
£3,000 less than
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 on cameras,
while
Linking Words
 the
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
 have spent just over £155,000 and
Austrians
Correct article usage
the Austrians
show examples
 spent the least, with £145,000. Both
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Belguim
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 and the Spanish spent the same amount of money, which was estimated to be £157,000. The
British
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 spent the most on books racking up £162,000 worth of goods, in comparison, inhabitants of
Use synonyms
Belguim
Correct your spelling
Belgium
, Spain Austria spent £157,000, £154,000 and £149,000 respectively. The
British
Use synonyms
 spent £155,000 £156,000 and £160,000 on console games, outdoor
game
Use synonyms
accessories
Use synonyms
 and
cosmetics
Use synonyms
, respectively. The Spanish were second in all 3 categories, spending just under £155,000 on both
cosmetics
Use synonyms
 and outdoor
game
Use synonyms
accessories
Use synonyms
 and £150,000 on consoles .
In contrast
Linking Words
, Austrians spent the least in all 3 of these categories only managing to spend just under £145,000 on outdoor
game
Use synonyms
accessories
Use synonyms
 and
cosmetics
Use synonyms
 and £145,000 on console games.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the people of
Use synonyms
Belguim
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 spent just over 145,000 on console games and
cosmetics
Use synonyms
 and 150 on outdoor
game
Use synonyms
accessories
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words belguim, british, game, accessories, cosmetics with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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