IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Research shows that transportation of products and people is now one of the biggest sources of pollution worldwide. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem while others think it is the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is scientifically proven that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
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 of
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 and passengers is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the main reasons for
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the globe. Some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that it should
strictly
Add a missing verb
be strictly
show examples
 controlled by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that, individuals need to address
this
Linking Words
 question. These days, the
pollution
Use synonyms
 by transport system is becoming increasingly terrible for many countries.
And only
Correct word choice
Only
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 the officials
responsible
Add a missing verb
are responsible
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reducing
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 has
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural resources and in order to combat
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 issues the local authorities take taxes or
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
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 every year from citizens. Given that, only the
government
Use synonyms
 bodies may put strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 or use
this
Linking Words
 collected tax to combat
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. In
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 way, they might educate society
how
Change preposition
on how
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 to take some action to make
government
Use synonyms
 work easier and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
improved
Wrong verb form
improve
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this
Linking Words
pollution
Use synonyms
 problem. The second reason why people
responsible
Add a missing verb
are responsible
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 for mitigating released
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the small steps start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 every
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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.
That is
Linking Words
 to say,
instead
Linking Words
 of using private
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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car
Add a comma
car,
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 they need to change
commuting
Correct article usage
the commuting
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 process to
ride
Wrong verb form
riding
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 bicycles or use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in some countries like Japan and Singapore
Correct article usage
the
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use of eco-friendly
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and other alternative
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 are not
surprise
Add an article
a surprise
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, statistics showed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 countries have
clean
Add a missing verb
had clean
show examples
air
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 20 years. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 bodies are responsible for improving the
air
Use synonyms
 quality, in my opinion, the step which every single person takes is
more
Rephrase
the most
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 effective and the easiest way to change
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 transport system by releasing harmful gas emissions
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
.

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task achievement
Clarify your argument more distinctly in the introduction and conclusion. Make sure to state your opinion clearly and summarize it effectively in the conclusion, rather than just stating that both sides exist.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument and ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Currently, the examples provided are somewhat vague, and adding more detailed information could strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
You introduced the topic well and presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for IELTS essays.
task achievement
Your awareness of environmental issues and providing specific countries (Japan and Singapore) as examples shows good knowledge of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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