In many counties children are engages in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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Dear sir/madam
i
Change the capitalization
I
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am
wring
Verb problem
writing
show examples
this
Linking Words
letter to apply for a waitress
job
Use synonyms
in your restaurant.
i
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I
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have seen
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
posting on
local
Correct article usage
a local
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newspapper
Correct your spelling
newspaper
newspapers
. currently,
i
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I
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am unemployed and looking for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
option to work.
i have
Verb problem
I
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completed my graduation in hotel and restaurant management six months ago
in addition
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
study
i
Change the capitalization
I
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have
also
Linking Words
done
part time
Correct your spelling
a part-time
show examples
job
Use synonyms
as a kitchen helper, so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
experience working in
this
Linking Words
industry.
i
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I
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did
a
Change the article
an
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internship for six months
while
Linking Words
doing study.
According to
Linking Words
my study and experience,
i
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I
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think
i
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I
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am a deserving candidate to get
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
.
i
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I
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will perform my
job
Use synonyms
duties efficiently and effectively.
i
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I
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hope you will consider my application and give me an opportunity to showcase my skills in your restaurant.
hope
Capitalize word
Hope
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to hear from you soon.
your
Correct pronoun usage
Yours
show examples
faithfully sahajpreet kaur|

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Task Achievement
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (e.g., however, furthermore, on the other hand) to improve the flow of your ideas and connect paragraphs better.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the arguments for both views to strengthen the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is concise and gets straight to the point, clearly expressing your interest in the position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • child labor
  • academic performance
  • exploitation
  • hazardous conditions
  • financial independence
  • money management
  • practical skills
  • employment opportunities
  • time management skills
  • work ethic
  • social and recreational activities
  • overall development
What to do next:
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