In many counties children are engages in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
completed my graduation in hotel and restaurant management six months ago
in addition
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
study
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have
also
Linking Words
done
part time
Correct your spelling
a part-time
show examples
job
Use synonyms
as a kitchen helper, so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
experience working in
this
Linking Words
industry.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
did
a
Change the article
an
show examples
internship for six months
while
Linking Words
doing study.
Body paragraph 3
According to
Linking Words
my study and experience,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think
i
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I
show examples
am a deserving candidate to get
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will perform my
job
Use synonyms
duties efficiently and effectively.
Body paragraph 4
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
hope you will consider my application and give me an opportunity to showcase my skills in your restaurant.
hope
Capitalize word
Hope
show examples
to hear from you soon.
Conclusion
your
Correct pronoun usage
Yours
show examples
faithfully sahajpreet kaur|
kaursahejpreet330
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Task Achievement
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (e.g., however, furthermore, on the other hand) to improve the flow of your ideas and connect paragraphs better.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the arguments for both views to strengthen the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is concise and gets straight to the point, clearly expressing your interest in the position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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