Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar Do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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era, people purchase many
products
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that contain a high level of sugar, which are available in almost every market. Some people believe the
health
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minister should establish a new policy that sugary
products
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must be pricier.
However
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, I would argue that factories have the freedom to produce sweet food and drinks, which people may purchase. Sugary meals and beverages are  very popular in every market, not only in  physical markets but
also
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in e-commerce. These foodstuffs are always  in high demand because they have a unique taste and creative packaging. If the government establishes a new regulation that unhealthy
products
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must be pricier than healthy
products
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,
then
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it might affect the economic situation.
Therefore
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,
government
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the government
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should be wiser about the changing prices of sugary stuff, because there are alternative ways to solve
this
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problem. The
health
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ministry, as a stakeholder in
this
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issue, might create new rules for factories.
For instance
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, sugary meals and beverages must contain specific labels that indicate if the
products
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contain a high level of sugar.
In addition
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, supermarkets must store sugary
products
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on a separate shelf from healthy stuff. Despite
this
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solution, making sugar
products
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more expensive may reduce consumption in some way. Some individuals prefer to purchase non-sugary meals because they find sugary
products
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too expensive.
As a result
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,
this
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action may
decline
Verb problem
decrease
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health care
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healthcare
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costs and
also
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reduce
health
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problem
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problems
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causes
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apply
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such
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as obesity, diabetes, and inflammation. In conclusion, reducing sugary
products
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is not the only solution to solve
health
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problems.
This
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policy might affect other sectors, particularly businesses, which may worsen the situation. Even though there is regulation of sweet foodstuffs, making them more expensive, people’s habits will not change without awareness and willingness.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to explicitly outline your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly link ideas and paragraphs with more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and relevant data to support your arguments, which will strengthen your position and make the essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument against the idea of making sugary products more expensive, which is a good foundation for your response.
coherence and cohesion
You have made a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, which helps in providing a balanced viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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