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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The two maps provide information with data about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 in 1920 and how it
currently
Add a missing verb
is currently
show examples
 developed.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen from maps that
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 witnessed a lot of various urbanisation and development over a period of.
To begin
Linking Words
 with a detailed analysis,
Grange
Change preposition
in Grange
show examples
Use synonyms
garden
Capitalize word
Garden
show examples
 in 1920 , there was
fountain
Add an article
a fountain
the fountain
show examples
 in
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 of the
park
Use synonyms
 .
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the left
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 there was
stage
Add an article
the stage
a stage
show examples
 for musicians and three rose gardens , one in the northwest and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 in the southwest ,
while
Linking Words
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 one
in
Add a missing verb
was in
show examples
 the northeast, near from entrance of Arnold
avenue
Capitalize word
Avenue
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right
side
Use synonyms
 , in the corner
north- east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
 was
pond
Add an article
a pond
show examples
 for
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 area and in the
south
Add a comma
south,
show examples
 there was
glasshouse
Correct article usage
a glasshouse
show examples
 and
seets
Correct your spelling
seats
sweets
 between
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
. On the other
side
Use synonyms
,
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 has significant development .
Initially
Linking Words
 ,
stage
Correct article usage
the stage
show examples
 for musicians
replaced
Add a missing verb
was replaced
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
Correct article usage
an
show examples
amphitheater for concerts and
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
garden
Use synonyms
 with four seats moved to the center of
Use synonyms
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
 ,there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
solely
Rephrase
only
show examples
 1 rose
garden
Use synonyms
 in the north.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, build
cafe
Add an article
a cafe
show examples
 in place of
rose
Add an article
the rose
a rose
show examples
garden
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right
side
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
demolition
Correct article usage
the demolition
show examples
 glasshouse to construct
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
 feature and
also
Linking Words
 substitute
pond
Correct article usage
a pond
show examples
 for water plants
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
 children's play area.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, garden, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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