IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? Give your suggestions on how to solve this problem.

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Currently in the world, when we talk about
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
 almost never thinking how they live and their conditions. Neither
we
Add a missing verb
do we
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 think
in
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about
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the
Change the word
their
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 biodiversity, ecosystem and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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habitat
for
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In some
cases
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cases,
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people
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 only are
interesting
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interested
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 in specific
animals
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 or
plants
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 because they contribute food and materials to humans. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem there are some suggestions that
depends
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depend
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if
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on
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people
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 are more aware of the situation.
First,
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we need to
recovery
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recover
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 the habitat loss
for
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from
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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bad practices, pollution,
Correct word choice
and deforest
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deforest
Wrong verb form
deforesting
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 and incentives
people
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for
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to
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maintain
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maintaining
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 and
conservation
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conserving
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this
Linking Words
 habitat. Second, it's
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to identify which
animals
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 and
plants
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 are endangered extinction because they need a specific program where the priority
is try
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is to try
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avoid
Fix the infinitive
to avoid
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lost
Wrong verb form
losing
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 their race.
Furthermore
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, with
help
Correct article usage
the help
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 of
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
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 have places with
rehablitation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
 where they will stay monitored.
However
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, those suggestions are not
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
. So, the government needs to implement stronger laws that
people
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 avoid
hunter
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hunting
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 and deforestation because
this
Linking Words
 is maybe
principal
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a principal
the principal
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 issue.
Also
Linking Words
, the big companies are affecting the environment, so it's important that they implement sustainable practices to
conservation
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conserve
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 the ecosystem.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the world needs to work together to prioritize changes and plans in
short
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a short
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 time to
conservation
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conserve
show examples
 and save the
animals
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 and
plants
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 because they are too important and generate enough impact
in
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on
show examples
 us.

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What works well

2
task achievement

You have shown a genuine concern for the topic, and your passion for animal and plant conservation is evident throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your suggestions address the problem logically, indicating that you have thought critically about potential solutions.

Improvement Suggestions

3
task achievement

Clarify your introduction to explicitly state the main issues and your key suggestions to solve the problem. Additionally, your thesis statement could be made stronger by clearly indicating what you will discuss in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words or phrases for better flow between ideas.

task achievement

Make sure to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, when discussing the endangerment of species, mention specific animals or plants and what has been done or can be done to help them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • extinction
  • sustainable practices
  • ecosystem
  • habitat loss
  • legislation
  • awareness programs
  • environmental impact
  • global cooperation
  • stakeholders
  • environmental policies
  • incentives
  • rehabilitation
  • restoration
What to do next:
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