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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line
chart
Use synonyms
 provides information with data about the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 who distribute in parliament in different five European countries over a period of 12
years
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen from the
chart
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 that the ratio of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 increased over a period in each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Garmany has
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 percentage of
women
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members
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,
while
Linking Words
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was the lowest in the
chart
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with a detailed analysis, the
chart
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 illustrates that in 2000, there was a gradual increase in germane female
members
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 which accounted for just under 35% in 2000 to 35% in 2012. Followed by, the number of Italian people who rose sharply from about 27% to 31% in
Correct article usage
the frist
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frist
Correct your spelling
first
 four
years
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 and
remaine
Correct your spelling
remained
remain
remains
 increased to 33% in 2008.
After
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4
years
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 later,
this
Linking Words
 rate
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
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 to reach a peak at 39%
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of
decade
Correct article usage
the decade
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shown
Verb problem
apply
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, turning to
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of
women
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members
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 in France , which has
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 trend , there was a steady climb from 25% to just over 30% during 12
years
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, UK
members
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 of parliament
women
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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 percentage out of
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, women, years, members with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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