IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that working days in a
week
Use synonyms
 must be shorter and there should be more free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. I, partially, agree with that opinion because it changes depending on
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
. So, if there is
shorter
Add an article
a shorter
show examples
 working
week
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can find enough spare
time
Use synonyms
 to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their family or
relative
Fix the agreement mistake
relatives
show examples
 persons.
Thus
Linking Words
, it contributes positively
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 social life, mental well-being
as well as
Linking Words
 productivity. But there are several aspects that make it impossible to reduce working days, especially, for
countries
Use synonyms
 which have to increase
living
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
 standards of their citizens. On the one hand, it is important to have free
time
Use synonyms
 during the
week
Use synonyms
 for workers because of their happiness and mental health for the purpose of developing their productivity. So, In case
people
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 have more leisure
time
Use synonyms
, they can manage their
time
Use synonyms
 easily and can plan activities that make them happy
such
Linking Words
 as meeting with their close friends or spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their family members. In that situation, they become more productive and it creates some advantages for governments.
For example
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, research
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that in developing
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and Germany, the reason behind
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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 economy is that working days are generally shorter and employees have
enough
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
longer weekends to get rest.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in some
countries
Use synonyms
,
population
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the population
show examples
 should work longer for the aim of developing their
countries
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’
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
spheres like education, health sector, industry, military forces and so on to create advantageous conditions for the next generations.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Azerbaijan, almost in all sectors
people
Use synonyms
 work for 8 hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day and 6
day
Change to a plural noun
days
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
week
Use synonyms
. It allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 strengthen all
sectors
Correct article usage
the sectors
show examples
 that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some positive effects of having shorter working periods in the
week
Use synonyms
, especially for governments which have strong economies, it is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 idea
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to decrease them for
countries
Use synonyms
 that have to increase their living standards.

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task achievement
Make sure to give clear reasons for your opinion. State your main idea clearly in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas better. Use paragraphs for different points.
task achievement
Use simple and clear examples to support your points. Make sure they relate to your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main point of the essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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