IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as Sahara desert or Antarctica what are the benefits and the disadvantages of going there.

In
this
Linking Words
 diverse country, human beings want to explore all around the world where they haven't been before. There are many
places
Use synonyms
 where survival is very difficult
for example
Linking Words
 in the Sahara
desert
Use synonyms
 or Antarctica but
people
Use synonyms
 want to travel
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these
places
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of visiting those
places
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, the survival options are very limited in Antarctica. To elaborate
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this
Change preposition
on this
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, it is the coldest place in the world where chances of surviving are difficult because of less oxygen.
For example
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, there are only a few options available if folks
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to travel. They can only go with
group
Add an article
a group
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 on a boat or they can see the view from aeroplanes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the Sahara
desert
Use synonyms
 is the largest and hottest place where
people
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 can go
undersome
Correct your spelling
under some
 conditions. It is covered in different countries and temperatures
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 above 40 degrees every month even in the winter season.
For instance
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, There are some hundred years ago news about
people
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 who went missing when they visited the
desert
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.
On the other hand
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, by travelling to different and difficult
places
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 human beings want to enhance their living techniques. In detail,
while
Linking Words
 visiting Antarctica public can learn various ways to tackle the problems.
Such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 thinking and physical activities can be enhanced. There are many difficulties which
people
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bear
Verb problem
face
show examples
 in colder climates they can overcome
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 by applying survival methods.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
 a result,
this
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 can improve their skills.
Furthermore
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, in the Sahara
desert
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, there are many folks who live there and when the masses visit them they get to know about the history of that place.
This
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 can give
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of information which
people
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 can gather and share
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
after
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their experiences.
To conclude
Linking Words
, survival in some
places
Use synonyms
 is very difficult but
people
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 want to travel
those
Change preposition
to those
show examples
places
Use synonyms
. It can be dangerous to their health every coin has two opposite sides. Human beings can learn experience and gather information about those
places
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more specific examples to better support your points.
general writing
Ensure grammatical accuracy to improve clarity; for example, check subject-verb agreement and pluralization.
task achievement
You effectively identified both advantages and disadvantages of visiting difficult places, which meets the task requirements well.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant points about survival and learning from difficult environments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extreme environments
  • fragile ecosystems
  • environmental awareness
  • adventure tourism
  • remote communities
  • harsh weather conditions
  • economic support
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural erosion
  • medical facilities
  • tourism impact
  • advocate for conservation
  • isolation
  • wildlife disruption
  • unique experience
What to do next:
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