IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

New technology has resulted in many jobs, which used to be performed by people, now being done by computers or robots. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no doubt that, these days,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unpaid community
assistances
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 essential to enhance
nation
Replace the word
national
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 values and many facilities
such
Linking Words
 as many public parks and neighbourhoods.
As a result
Linking Words
 , several people think that it is important to provide these programs as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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primary subjects in the
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
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 plan.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is important to structure a new generation with many values that help the nation to improve
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
itself
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 in different fields. Because
this
Linking Words
 is the most essential step to shape a great country.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
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 services hold numerous benefits for many spaces that people visit
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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task achievement
Your essay presents a relevant argument, but it lacks clear development and depth in your points. Make sure to elaborate on your ideas and support them with specific examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your essay's organization. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details. Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to another to enhance coherence.
task achievement
You have a clear stance in your introduction, which is a good starting point for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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