IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that social skills are as important as academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, some have argued that social
skills
Use synonyms
 are qualities that are as vital as academic
cirtificates
Correct your spelling
certificates
. In my opinion, I firmly agree with the
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 since these abilities not only help polish communication
skills
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 contribute to individuals’ mental health. First and foremost, individuals with strong social
skills
Use synonyms
 may develop a stronger communication basis. Notably, by strengthening social
skills
Use synonyms
, individuals can better acknowledge how to
conmunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with others efficiently, which is an
essensial
Correct your spelling
essential
 component to both personal growth and future career success.
For example
Linking Words
, employees who can socialize with others confidently in their workplaces
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 may get higher chances of being promoted since a strong
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
 skill
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them to successfully collaborate with colleagues and increase work productivity. Eventually, the
skills
Use synonyms
 help them fully realize their potential and succeed in professional life.
Additionally
Linking Words
, individuals who know how to socialize usually have a better mental condition. To be specific, interpersonal relationships create bonds that humans
natually
Correct your spelling
naturally
actually
 rely on, which is important to stabilize their mental well-being and provide healthy lifestyles.
In contrast
Linking Words
, people who are introverted may often lack of necessary social
skills
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 tendency of social isolation may trigger several mental
illness
Change to a plural noun
illnesses
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as depression and anxiety.
For example
Linking Words
, those who have strong academic backgrounds but are not capable
to socialize
Change preposition
of socializing
show examples
, still suffer from various mental drawbacks. In conclusion, I strongly agree that not only academic achievements but
also
Linking Words
 social
skills
Use synonyms
 are important, since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 guarantee future personal
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 in workfields and provide a healthier mental condition in the long term.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for small spelling mistakes (e.g., 'cirtificates' should be 'certificates', 'conmunicate' should be 'communicate', 'essensial' should be 'essential', 'communcation' should be 'communication', 'natually' should be 'naturally', 'lack of' should be 'lack') as they can affect the readability of your writing.
Content
Consider enhancing your examples to provide even clearer connections between your points and the thesis statement. For instance, provide specific studies or statistics that show the impact of social skills on career success and mental health.
Cohesion
Improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each point transitions smoothly into the next to create a more cohesive argument overall.
Content
Strong introduction that presents a clear stance on the topic.
Coherence
Good structure in body paragraphs with main ideas and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social skills
  • academic qualifications
  • interpersonal communication
  • teamwork
  • emotional intelligence
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • leadership
  • career advancement
  • job interviews
  • networking
  • soft skills
  • self-awareness
  • adaptability
  • collaboration
  • creativity
  • analytical skills
  • educational system
  • real-world situations
  • economic success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: