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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show an island before and after the addition of tourist facilities. Summarise the information in the maps and make comparisons where appropriate

The diagrams below show an island before and after the addition of tourist facilities. Summarise the information in the maps and make comparisons where appropriate
Illustrated for consideration is the development of an
island
Use synonyms
 when adding more tourist facilities.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
island
Use synonyms
 has gone through a significant transformation, from being an inhabited area to one which has been
fully-equipped
Correct your spelling
fully equipped
show examples
 to be a completely tourism-based one.
Additionally
Linking Words
, these facilities
as well as
Linking Words
 new pathways were built in empty areas without affecting other natural features, contributing to natural conservation. To the left of the
island
Use synonyms
, the beach was developed so that swimming there was allowed
while
Linking Words
 along the footpath connecting with
this
Linking Words
 beach, 6 houses were established around the left corner trees. In the middle of the
island
Use synonyms
, there
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 an establishment
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not only a reception but
also
Linking Words
 a restaurant, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 linked with a pier by a vehicle track.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the accessibility of the
island
Use synonyms
 was improved by the addition of the pier where some boats can conveniently be proximate to the coastal area. Moving onto the right,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 9 accommodations were set up, creating a circle image that was well-linked by footpaths.
Also
Linking Words
, the trees to the right of these relaxation amenities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been remained intact, making the
island
Use synonyms
 more eco-friendly.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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