some people think that it is important to spend. lot of money on family functions ehile others think that it is a waste of money. discuss both biews and give your opinion

It is argued by individuals that family celebrations are celebrated by spending a hefty amount of

money

Use synonyms

Linking Words

While there

Correct word choice

There

show examples

are some others who think that spending cash on family

functions

Use synonyms

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views. On the one hand, why some population think that it is essential to allocate more

money

Use synonyms

to family celebrations because it gives happiness and a feeling of contentment to

people

Use synonyms

. there are various family

functions

Use synonyms

that are held only one time for whole life.

For example

Linking Words

, marriages

due to

Linking Words

which

people

Use synonyms

spend a lot of

money

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

type of function to get pleasure.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, there are other reasons why spending

money

Use synonyms

on family

functions

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

a waste. First and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

formost

Correct your spelling

foremost

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that

People

Use synonyms

should have to save

money

Use synonyms

because they utilise it in critical situations and complete their basic needs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, They can allocate the saved

money

Use synonyms

in future to set up their work, but it is impossible to do

this

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

spend a lot of

money

Use synonyms

on family

functions

Use synonyms

. they can suffer from the problem of debt which creates negativity.

For example

Linking Words

, the Tribune show shows that 65% of individuals spend amounts on family

functions

Use synonyms

and suffer from financial loss. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that family

functions

Use synonyms

are important but saving

money

Use synonyms

for the future , especially in worsened conditions is more essential.

s.manpreetsingh982Thu May 01 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are related to that idea. This helps in logical structure.

task achievement

Make sure to provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points more effectively. It can also reinforce your opinion. This will help in clarity and completeness.

coherence and cohesion

Consider using more varied vocabulary and grammatical structures. This can help in expressing your ideas more clearly and in a more engaging way.

task achievement

You have presented both views fairly well, which shows an understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The use of examples helps to illustrate your point and makes your argument more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

230 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?
There is no doubt that nowadays the question of deforestation, urbanization, and illegal hunting is ever more acute in recent times, because various animal species are under threat of extinction. This essay examines the importance of animal protection and measures that are necessary to take.
6.5
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's society, some individuals believe that studying abroad and working overseas are the primary reasons for learning a foreign language. However, others argue that these are not the only purposes and that numerous positive outcomes are associated with acquiring a new language. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence that learning a foreign language is beneficial for our minds.
6.5
band
Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether or not countries should develop their living standard by economic development is now a debate. The writer, however, advocates that the benefits of enhancing educational background along with reducing the unemployment rate totally outweigh the cost of widening the rich gap.
7
band
parents should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth ? To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
There is a request that parents nowadays ought to participate in parenting courses annually in order to nourish their children in the right way. I strongly agree with this perspective due to the reasons for preventing domestic violence and closer distance between family members .
6.5
band
Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?
The amount of smokers worldwide is still high even if several campaigns highlighting health risks have been made. Overall, we should approach this topic with seriousness for two main reasons: firstly, smoking is addictive. Secondly, it can be connected to a social activity. Despite that, several solutions can be found to decrease the number of individuals who smoke.

some people think that it is important to spend. lot of money on family functions ehile others think that it is a waste of money. discuss both biews and give your opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

parents should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth ? To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?