IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that goverment should pay for health care and education,but others believe that it is not their responsibility

Authorities ought to pay for
health
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 care and
education
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, but others believe that it is not their responsibility.I believe that money should be allocated from the state budget for
education
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 and
healthcare
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. People should spend their own money on
healthcare
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 and
education
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,
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apply
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 because the
population
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 has its own salary and many workplaces take on these two problems.
Healthcare
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 and
education
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 require a lot of money.If
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
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 for
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population's
Correct article usage
the population's
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healthcare
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 and
education
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 there may be insufficient funds for the development of other sectors.
For example
Linking Words
, all state-owned enterprises pay for
health
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 and
education
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 for families with more than 3 children
,
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apply
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 and are obliged to do so.
Therefore
Linking Words
,The state is not obligated to pay these costs.
Health
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 care costs should come from the state budget
,
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apply
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 because many families cannot afford to pay these costs.Another reason why the government should pay is that government taxes are collected from the
population
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, and these taxes should be directed to the
health
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 and
education
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 of the
population
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in many countries on the African continent,
due to
Linking Words
 underdeveloped
health
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 and
education
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 systems, most children in the country die before reaching the age of 15.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your opinion in the introduction and develop it consistently throughout the essay. A more definitive statement of your view on the responsibility of the government would improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the structure of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details are logically organized.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points. This will help you achieve higher scores in task achievement.
content
You have a clear position on the issue, which is important for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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