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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant
The table presents information about (underground railway systems) in (six major cities). It shows the (
year
Use synonyms
 each
system
Use synonyms
 opened), the (
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of
route
Use synonyms
), and the (number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in millions).
Initially
Linking Words
, the oldest
system
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in (London), which started in (1863). It has the longest (
route
Use synonyms
) at (394
kilometres
Use synonyms
) and serves (775
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
) every
year
Use synonyms
. (Paris) has a shorter
route
Use synonyms
 of (199
kilometres
Use synonyms
), but more (
passengers
Use synonyms
), with (1191
million
Use synonyms
) yearly. (
However
Linking Words
), the (Tokyo)
system
Use synonyms
, which began in (1927), is the busiest. It serves (1927
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
) per
year
Use synonyms
, more than any other city, even though its
route
Use synonyms
 is only (155
kilometres
Use synonyms
).
Moreover
Linking Words
, (Washington DC) and (Kyoto) opened later, in (1976) and (1981), with shorter routes and fewer
passengers
Use synonyms
. (Kyoto),
for example
Linking Words
, has just (11
kilometres
Use synonyms
) of track and only (45
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the newest
system
Use synonyms
 is in (Los Angeles), opened in (2001), with (26
kilometres
Use synonyms
) and (50
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
) per
year
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is still small and not very busy.
To sum up
Linking Words
, (Tokyo) has the highest (passenger numbers),
while
Linking Words
 (London) has the longest (
route
Use synonyms
). (Kyoto) and (Los Angeles) are the smallest in both size and usage.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, system, kilometres, route, passengers, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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