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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 table illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of temporary migrant
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 in Australia, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
, the UK and the US between 2003 and 2006 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of these
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1,000 people in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 can be seen in all four
countries
Use synonyms
 over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, regarding the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 showing the
number
Use synonyms
 of these
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1,000 people in 2006, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 experienced the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of all
countries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the US had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
while
Linking Words
 all
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of temporary migrant
workers
Use synonyms
, that of the UK was the most significant
rasing
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 from 137,000 to 266,000, following Australia from 152,000 to 219,000, and the US from 577,000 and 678,000. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 increased slightly from 65,000 to 87,000 and
this
Linking Words
 change is not as significant as
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, regarding the figure
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1,000 people in 2006, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 had the largest
number
Use synonyms
 of them, 21.1, following Australia (10.7), and the UK (4.4).
Although
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 in the US is the largest of all four
countries
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, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of them per 1,000 is relatively less than others.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, zealand, workers, countries, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temporary migrant workers
  • trends
  • absolute numbers
  • per 1,000 people
  • growth rate
  • per capita
  • labor markets
  • economies
  • significant
  • imply
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