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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comaprisions where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comaprisions where relevant.
These 2 graphs demonstrate the police
budget
Use synonyms
 and distribution of all money among 3 various costs.
Overall
Linking Words
,the first graph ensures 3
sources
Use synonyms
 of
budget
Use synonyms
 between 2017 and 2018. The maximum is related to the local taxes which were increased just in 1 year. It contributes more money to the total
budget
Use synonyms
 than the national government and other
sources
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the second chart,the most alters
took
Verb problem
apply
show examples
happen in technological expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the first information consists of 3
sources
Use synonyms
 and all of them are almost more than the previous year.
However
Linking Words
,it only has 0.5 growth
due to
Linking Words
 additional
sources
Use synonyms
 like grants. The national government
budget
Use synonyms
 was slightly increased by approximately 2.3 m from 2017 to 2018. After a
while
Linking Words
,local taxes
also
Linking Words
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
 11.1 m so
this
Linking Words
 is the most growth
amongthe
Correct your spelling
among the
 3sources.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the second data gives percentages out of 100% in 2 years.Buildings and transport costs for police remained stable at 17%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,the salaries for officers and staff were dramatically decreased from 75% to 69%. It means that they provide less money
due to
Linking Words
 salary expenditures than the previous year.One growth belongs to technology and its indication
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
risen
raised
 14% from 8%.
This
Linking Words
 information emphasizes that advancements
are
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a crucial role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the police
budget
Use synonyms
 in 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, sources with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
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